An Emirati's Thoughts

2011-11-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone !

Hey guys, so I've started a new blog, and wont be using an emirati's thoughts for a while. Please check out:

http://khalijisecurity.com/

Thank you for reading my posts,

Ahmed

2011-03-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

Follow me on twitter !

Im doing alot of my posting, especially on the recent situation in Libya, on twitter.

@EmiratiThoughts

2011-03-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

Bahrain: What are the implications of recent events on the region ?

The Bahraini causeway, built in the late 70s-early 80s, was more of an umbrilical cord than a bridge. With it, a mother-child relationship was built between a Saudi in Ascendancy and a Bahrain in decline. Today, more than any day, this relationship has taken on a turn to the darker side. Over it, the Saudis have deployed light armored vehicles of the Saudi Army (or possibly SANG, Saudi Arabian National Guard) to Bahrain, with the UAE sending a police force. While this force of 1,800 is relatively small and lightly armed compared to the Bahraini army of 30,000 men, its main intention is to send a clear message to someone: Iran.

If youve read wikileaks on what people are saying behind the scenes about Iran, you know that they view it as a threat to be taken seriously. And now that the Iranians know what the politicians in the UAE and Saudi are saying about them, I suspect they have gone into a greater state of alert and cautiousness.

I dont believe the Iranian government brewed the Bahraini uprising, I think it was more due to the stupidity, short-sightedness, and racism of the Bahraini regime. However, I do think that now, they will be a greater part of the uprising.

Behind the scenes, I greatly suspect that something is cooking.

The massacre of peaceful protestors by the Bahraini army reeks of "Bloody Sunday". An incident in which the British army murdered unarmed protestors, and which lead to many many IRA signups, and the prolonging of the troubles.

If this sort of terrible treatment by the Bahraini government continues, then what I expect could happen, is that the Iranians will begin to send over Dhows full of AK-47s, RPGs and mortars to disaffected and radicalized cells in the Bahraini Shiite population, and a Guerrilla war will start to break out. This is text-book insurgency territory. A large suppressed population, foreign paramilitaries, and a neighbor in Iran which is armed to the teeth in small arms and looking to wreck havoc on the GCC.

And not a country will be spared.

Already, i'm receiving these "BBM" Blackberry Messenger forwards from different people with these gasoline-on-the-flame sorts of jokes which address Shiias directly (note that the Shiias are a significant minority of Emiratis), and paints them all as "people who want Iran to take over Bahrain".

On another note, if I start to hear this crap about Sunnis and Shiias in the UAE, then I will be an even firmer proponent of secularism, which does not incorporate what happened 1400 years ago into modern government upon which millions depend.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we in the Gulf look like we are in desperate need of an "Arabian Gulf Secular party".

2011-02-21T06:33:00.000-08:00

Blood diamond with a Libyan Twist

This is how our dear friend Muammar repays his people for 42 years worth of patience. Mercenaries, who come from merciless cultures, are flown in to serve as his "Ghulam Guard". But this idea is as old as Islamic empires themselves, the idea of a Ghulam Army of Mamluks.

The use of mamluk soldiers gave rulers troops who had no link to any established power structure. Local non-mamluk warriors were often more loyal to their tribal sheikhs, their families, or nobles than to the sultan or caliph. If a commander conspired against the ruler, it was often not possible to deal with the conspiracy without causing unrest among the nobility. The mamluk slave-troops were strangers of the lowest possible status who could not conspire against the ruler and who could easily be punished if they caused trouble, making them a great military asset.

In effect, Qaddafi has gone back to the dark ages.

2011-02-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Comrade Muammar Qaddafi, its been a long time coming !!

He has been the longest serving Arab dictator. He dragged Libya, a wealthy and resource rich country, into wars with:

Egypt (1978)
Chad (1980s)
The US (1986)

He ruined its economy with his eccentricities, and made sure that his people suffered badly under his tyranny. I have been calling for the overthrow of this Tyrant since 2005. He is a barbaric backward person who has robbed, clobbered and terrorized his people. Libya is supposed to be richer than the UAE, it has more of everything that the UAE has. However, 30% of all Libyans are unemployed. And I suspect that Qaddafi has huge savings and assets, and were talking in the Hundreds of billions of dollars. Its time for him to go and to take his damned sons with him.

2011-02-18T11:14:00.000-08:00

And the protests begin the Gulf...

Its started in Bahrain now, and its gotten pretty bloody pretty fast. The security forces have been clamping down brutally on all those who dare to resist them. But then again, thats because they're all from Egypt, Yemen and Pakistan.

In a cry back to the Abbasid Caliphs, the King of Bahrain has put in his very own Ghulam army of foreign men whose only link is with the King himself. This is no doubt very canny, cunning, and can only be done when you have some financial backing. I am sure that all Gulf states will be watching closely. Expect every GCC state to expand on its use of these Janissaries very soon.

In order to win this ala Egypt, there would either have to be a change of heart by the army (highly unlikely), the King would have to stand down because of a change in heart (highly unlikely), or the Bahraini police and army would have to be routed and defeated with a march on the Kings very nice palace taking place ala the Bastille (almost impossible).

And in any case, casualties will be very high unless a middle ground is found. The Bahraini Army by firing on protesters has dishonored itself completely, and shown it is completely unprofessional and a HATRED FOR THE CIVILIANS IT SHOULD BE DEFENDING.

Therefore I think the United States, Great Britain and the Netherlands should pursue an embargo on spare parts for the weapons they supplied to the Bahraini military. Also the US should send a strongly worded statement to the Bahraini government clearly stating such actions will be subject to sanctions. But the US has always had double standards, so I think this sort of thing will continue.

2011-02-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

Arab Children

From the pen of Nizar Qabbani... Arab Secularist Poet....

Arab children,
Corn ears of the future,
You will break our chains.
Kill the opium in our heads,
Kill the illusions.
Arab children,
Don't read about our suffocated generation,
We are a hopeless case,
As worthless as a water-melon rind.
Don't read about us,
Don't ape us,
Don't accept us,
Don't accept our ideas,
We are a nation of crooks and jugglers.
Arab children,
Spring rain,
Corn ears of the future,
You are the generation that will overcome defeat.

2011-02-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

And so the Crackdown in the Emirates Begins....

A very worrying article in the Al Jazeera Newspaper Today:

"UAE arrests activist who preached openess" (In Arabic)

The activist in question of course is called "Hassan Mohammed Al Hammadi" and is currently residing on Khor Fakkan, which follows Sharjah.

I will give you a rough translation or summary of the events. Basically after friday prayers, Hassan decided to give a speech at his local mosque, about a topic related to what is currently occuring in Egypt. The Criminal Investigation depeartment picked up on him and he is currently jailed in Abu Dhabi.

Emirati Human rights activist Ahmed Mansour meanwhile, states that this is a part of a wider campaign by the government that has shown an unrestrained crackdown on the citizens of the UAE, since the death of Sheikh Zayed.

According to Ahmed, many Emiratis have been:

Denied jobs in government security serves
Banned from travel
Fired from their jobs

Accordingly, many of these peoples families have been targeted by:

Firing them from their jobs
Not allowing them any chance of promotion
Denying their Children University Scholarships.

I'm not sure of the validity of the usually-dramatic Al Jazeera. However this has caused me to be more careful. If such acts indeed take place, then these acts are backward, wanton, and are nothing the UAE, which portrays itself as a moderate and developing country, should associate itself with.

The good job that the ruling families have done with the UAE must not be negatively affected with these terrible (if actual) things.

2011-02-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

On the Tsar....

This is the old Russian fairy tale. The tsar is a great father figure, a revered and perfect leader. It's just that he does not know what his underlings are doing. He doesn't realise how badly the serfs are treated. If only someone would tell him the truth, he would end injustice. The tsar's servants, of course, connived at this.

link here.

2011-02-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

The Oppressed Rise

The Arab people, from the Gulf to Morocco, have had enough of their governments. This is the beginning of the end for the majority of the regimes in the region.

The majority of the Arab rulers are a dirty, nasty bunch. They believe that they are superior to the masses that they govern.

For most Arabs the equation is like this:

You want opportunity ? Sorry that belongs to the regime, in order to "protect" you.
You want equal rights to a ruler ? Since you are both born human beings, the same in the eyes of God ? Sorry that belongs to the regime, in order to "protect" you
You want to express your unhappiness with a policy of the regime? Sorry that belongs to the regime, in order to "protect" you.
You want to open a Buisness and compete in a fair environment? Sorry that belongs to the regime, in order to "protect" you.

Let us go back dear readers, to 70 years ago. 70 years ago, the Asian people went through famine after famine, war after war. However, through their wise government initiatives, the people managed to pull themselves out of their predicament, and China, where 40 years ago many people starved to death is today the key holder of American debt.

Meanwhile in the Arab world, regime after regime robbed and stole their peoples, massacred them, engaged in futile projects with concern not for their people, but their posts and families. So the Trabulsis became Billionaires, Mubaraks cronies became rich, Saudis oil wealth was squandered and Saddam wasted his country's youth and power in his idiotic and futile wars.

It is because of 18 or so people that the Arab world has not been given the chance to catch up with the rest of the world. So 18 people through their irresponsibility and evil have destroyed the futures and aspirations of 300 million people.

So we come to the point. The Arab leaders dont care about their people. They view them as dispensable objects and slaves, simply numbers that can be tortured, beaten, shot and murdered. They dont deserve to have the right to speak their minds, they dont deserve to have the right to hold their leaders accountable, they dont deserve to have a future like other people. The Arab leaders view their people as nothing short of Untermensch. Subhuman barbarian hordes who would allow everything to descend into chaos if they had the right to rule themselves. They share this mentality with the Nazi party of Germany.

But we all see, In the New Egypt, In Tahrir square, how the Egyptian people have responded to such allegations. They have been orderly, peaceful, celebratory, and they have defended themselves when attacked. No women are harassed, no fights break out, and nothing but a festival of freedom occurs when the Egyptian government is not there.

Tahrir square is the heart of a New Arab world. It is a place where you can say what you want, when you want to. Where people take the initiative and organize themselves. It has taught us that we ARE a people that can take care of ourselves, just like any other people in the world. We reject unjustified violence, but will always defend ourselves. We believe that we are all equal, and no one is better than the other.

Pay no heed to this snake Mubarak and his promises to stand down. He is a Nazi, he is a snake. He is a thief. He will never allow openness, as this Cohen so eloquently puts it.

So, this stubborn man — who has ruled with the sweeping powers of an Emergency Law since Anwar el-Sadat’s 1981 assassination; who has broken countless promises to revoke that law; who has just overseen a farce of a parliamentary election that stuffed the legislature with his National Democratic Party; who has refused to offer any succession plan; who has allowed a coterie around his son Gamal to amass Farouk-like wealth through sweetheart deals — had planned to step down before his people rose up!

So all his promises to step down will be nothing but words. He and his son can both not serve in politics, as long as they have a friend serving, they'll get off scratch-free. They can still control the system. They can still play their games and use their dirty tricks to hurt their people.

Mubarak will not give up easily. He will still put up a fight. He will still shamelessly pay people to go and fight the freedom fighters in Tahrir square. Therefore only the Egyptian Military can step in, remove him, and place Ahmed Shafiq, current PM, the only suitable competent person I see in the ruling National Democratic Party, to take his place in an interim government, that can organize things for fair and free multi-party 2011 elections.

Mubarak should then retire in Sharm El Sheikh, and be allowed to have his right to die on Egyptian soil. And after that we will see what happens next in the Arab world.

Here's to a day when all Arabs will hold their leaders accountable.

2010-08-31T04:03:00.001-07:00

The Pope of Dubai

Ladies and Gentlemen, His Holiness, Dr. Ahmed Al Haddad, the "Grand Mufti" of Dubai.

“In Islam, choosing your life partner is a personal freedom,” he said, speaking at a Ramadan majlis on Sunday night. “But personal freedoms can be restricted for the benefit of the public interest.”

Mixed marriages are more likely to end in divorce and their children are more likely to commit crimes, some experts at the majilis said.

“There should be very specific circumstances for when such marriages are allowed,” Dr al Haddad said. “Such as when a man is too old and cannot find an Emirati to marry him, or when he wants to take a third of fourth wife for certain reasons and no Emirati woman agrees to do so.”

2010-08-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

Eskut ya Kalb !

Arab governments trying to shut their people up will not be successful.

The Arab Papacy, or the Mutawaeen who act as if they are designated preachers, will usually tell you that a ruler is a "Wali-El-Amr" meaning that he is an executive in your right. And that disagreeing or not listening to them will result in you apparently going to some imaginary hell they have carved into their minds, which the enslavers of young girls as "Ma Malakat Aymanikum" will avoid.

So lets face it. The Mutawa Papacy is incredibly corrupt and unreliable, and it must not be given any role in politics for its fabricated insanity. But wait a minute, this insanity is actually allowed to continue based on the whims of most arab rulers.

Lets be honest here, dictatorship has certainly flourished in the Arab world in the past 50 years. When you have the best security forces, the best internal security and intelligence, its usually for a reason. It is due to the scary obsession with control that leads to the oppression of people in detail until they eventually burst.

It is scary when you have the people taking it up as a pleasurable new pursuit, such as the TRA's macho men trying to ban a blackberry service. It is also scary when you see people supporting the attempts of government to shut up the average individual, such as when a policeman is fired for exposing Abdul-Aziz Al Ghurair, chairman of the FNC, getting an exemption on speeding fines.

But what about the future ?

The reality is this, the Arab world is changing. The Arab world has gone from being illiterate 50 years ago to 70% literate today. We have facebook, youtube, mobile phones. One person who gets killed today is a tragedy, and we are no longer in the stage where if a thousand people get killed its a statistic. There are no more kurdish massacres, no more Hama massacres, no more of the insanity of Saddam Hussein. The Arab governments that killed and impounded in the thousands before are wary of taking one prisoner. These regimes are now on the defensive.

And its all in the best, the cocktail of religious fabrication along with dictatorial oppression can only result in one thing:

"The Iraqi invasion of Kuwait on August 2, 1990 had put the kingdom and its ruling House of Saud at risk. The world's most valuable oil fields were within easy striking distance of Iraqi forces in Kuwait, and Saddam's call to pan-Arab/Islamism could potentially rally internal dissent. bin Laden met with King Fahd, and Sultan, Minister of Defence of Saudi Arabia, telling them not to depend on non-Muslim troops, and offered to help defend Saudi Arabia with his mujahideen fighters. Bin Laden's offer was rebuffed, and after the American offer to help repel Iraq from Kuwait was accepted, involving deploying U.S. troops in Saudi territory,[50] he publicly denounced Saudi Arabia's dependence on the U.S. military, as he believed the presence of foreign troops in the "land of the two mosques" (Mecca and Medina) profaned sacred soil. Bin Laden's criticism of the Saudi monarchy led that government to attempt to silence him."

So then Bin Laden goes to Sudan, and this entire mess starts.

2010-02-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

Where you'll find Emirati hanging out

In the neighborhood of Al Nahyan, in the backstreets behind Abu Dhabi, exists Emirati's El Dorado of Cafes. This kind of cafe is of a kind that is very rare in Abu Dhabi. It has not only class, but substance. And on many occasions you'll find Emirati sitting there, with a friend, on his LG notebook, drinking coffee and talking politics. Oh and eating some of the best sandwiches in Abu Dhabi.On the bookshelves of this little gem are literary works by Arab and non-arab authors, which can be taken and read at ones pleasure. Theres a wifi connection, and everything arrives promptly and tastes great !

I am of course talking about the Kalispera Cafe, which is located here, check it out.

2010-01-10T08:45:00.000-08:00

A quote, in tandem with an abortion of justice

Mr al-Mulla said the fact the trial had taken place was "a sign that the UAE is showing that everyone in this country can be put in front of law and judged".
The BBC's Christian Fraser in the region says the verdict will do little to satisfy those who have long criticised the Emirates abject human rights record.
They will argue it proves once again that the extended royal family and those Emiratis in positions of power are often above the rule of law, says our correspondent.
The UAE is a federation of seven wealthy emirates with substantial oil reserves and a large expatriate population. Each emirate is run by a ruling family and citizens are granted few political rights.

Mr. Al-Mulla. Lying mercenaries such as yourself will rot in hell.

2009-12-26T11:50:00.000-08:00

While this happens....

Our Iranian Friend's Grandest battles are:
Calling the Gulf "Persian"

Did you know that the manipulation of the internet to serve Persian Ultra-Nationalism has permeated to wikipedia ? Supposedly the UAE plays in a cup called the "Gulf cup of Nations" while as you read in the link, the Iranian Government has protested to the UAE regarding this fact.

Of course, in typical Iranian style since our friend the Shah: Kick around the people, and then rile them with ultranationalist sentiments and let them vent their anger at the Arabs. And even regular Iranians that hate the regime are claiming that the people kicking the others around in the street are Arabs. The Ultra-Nationalistic lying to ones-self is a sick symptom of denial and "exporting" the causes of your problems to the Arabs.

The Gulf remains Arabian until Iran ends its illegal occupation of the 3 Islands.

2009-11-27T09:50:00.000-08:00

Rebuilding Confidence: The Transparency Revolution

With the recent slump in the confidence in Dubai's debt management capabilities, it is now the time for action. An excellent article by Hafed al Ghwell states that the governments reluctance to release figures about the economy is leading to rumors and half-truths being spread like wildfire.

What we need is action by our Minister of Economy, Lubna Al Qasimi. Lubna, instead of recieving dignitatries, why not take a step forward and set up an independent division in the ministry of economy, something along the lines of the "Department of Economic Transparency and Statistics" ? Something that will pool together all information drawn from all the emirates and release it so that investors can assess how bad the situation really is and we can start to address the situation more porperly.

The reassurances given by the CEOs and spokesmen of these Dubai companies do not do anything at all for the state of their companies. They appear to be very vague, general and do not convince at all.

What everyone from the ministry of finance, economics, and these various companies is trying to do, is to hide a problem, to avoid "market panic". These people all have vested interests in their companies and organizations, and they convince the government to not share figures, facts, and to not be held accountable to the citizens and investors of this country.

Take this statement by the CEO of Emirates Airlines about DUBAI WORLD. Where is the statement from teh CEO of Dubai world ? Unessecary, because he would say exactly the same thing which has been said by him:

"Our intervention in Dubai World was carefully planned and reflects its specific financial position," "The government is spearheading the restructuring of this commercial operation in the full knowledge of how the markets would react. We understand the concerns of the market and the creditors in particular. However we have had to intervene because of the need to take decisive action to address its particular debt burden," he said in an emailed statement.
"Like most global cities, Dubai has experienced its share of economic and social challenges in this global downturn. No market is immune from economic issues. This is a sensible business decision. We want to ensure resources are deployed in the full knowledge that they are used to enhance the businesses of the Dubai World Group, build on the restructuring that has already been taking place and ensure long term commercial success. Further information will be made available early next week," he said.

This technique functioned very well in the boom times, keeping people misinformed about a boom made them think that the grass was greener on the other side, and more and more money poured in. But when things went sour, people like Nasser Al-Sheikh, who gave a series of very frank interviews, as we all remember, was sidelined.

The government is right to be wary of the Media, and the interests of broke journalists. We have possibilities such as Australian journalists getting kickbacks from Qantas to rip on Emirates, and American media stations ignorantly commenting on the DP world bid. But we must not serve the media, what we must serve is the country, its citizens and the people who have put their hard earned cash behind us.

And for this reason, we need to slowly open the taps, and to let out information about the state of the Dubai debt, what challenges we are facing, and we have to give a structured plan about how are going to start making cutbacks, and how inter-emirate coordination is going to contribute to solving this issue. And I assure you, in this global upturn (which I hope is not due to the global financial stimulus packages alone) there will still be a big place for Dubai and the UAE.

God help us if we continue to depend on the subhuman "PR people" and the illustrious ignorant "spokesperson".

2009-07-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

On the Green Revolution

A cause of concern for me personally are the recent events unfolding in Iran. Specifically, the type of people who are behind these events. While the Iranian people have the full right to choose whoever they want to lead them, it is imperative that they do not do so to the detriment of regional security.

Rumors have been spread by supporters of the green revolution that Arab agents of Hezbollah were behind the killings witnessed in Iran at the hands of the Basij militia. The Basij fought valiantly in the Iran-Iraq war in the 1980s, at the time, they were apparently an Iranian grass roots movement. Today according to some of the supporters of the green revolution, they are a bunch of arabs hired by the regime.

These rumors spread were justified by the 'evidence' that "no iranian would ever kill another iranian". A large component in the green revolution is centered on Arab-Hate and Islam-hate (despite maintaining their own Iranian version of Islam, Shiia Islam). They see the current regime as an arab regime, for arabs, and not for the Iranian peoples. They are oblivious to the fact that Iran helps hizbollah in order to spread its influence, not out of the kindness of their hearts.

I hope we do not see one of the lunatics spreading these rumors gaining any sort of important position in Iran. No one wants to see a new Nazi regime in Iran. This will destabilize the situation in the Arabian Gulf.

2009-04-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

Promoting a Blog

Dear Readers, Check out Bin Eid, a blog by a good friend of Emirati's. He writes some interesting things.

2009-04-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

High Value Added Bullshit

So, the world economy is in recession, people are losing their jobs left and right, and Economic models are being called into question. So what of the Economic model that has been preached to us all these years ?

Today we are going to talk about the trading economies. We basically have 3 parts to every economy:

Agriculture
Industry
Services

What has happened to the world economy, and especially in countries such as Britain which has been almost completely de-industrialized is that Services have come to make a majority of the Economy. The Problem with Services is that they are not a producer of wealth, but rather a distributor of wealth. Someone in industry or agriculture has produced everything, someone working for a Real estate company or a Restraunt is simply distributing it.

And these are the people who will be hit the hardest in this recession. The distributors, traders, the people working in the service industries will all be hit very severely. It is because at the very essence of human commerce and finance is the simple notion of I give you my chicken, you give me your tobacco. We need to produce these two things to be able to trade. But when I trade my chicken for stocks, and you trade your tobacco for government debt, we just go into a swapping cycle of useless assets which spiral in price until they hit a sharp drop, when we have realised that our assets are worth 100 chickens and bags of tobacco.

What I am emphasizing here is a key note: Production, Production, Production. This should be the cornerstone of any economy. Money is useless if it is not used to acquire something being produced. You cannot stimulate an economy by increasing the money supply if no production or increases of productivity are being made. Just look at the Japanese after the asset price bubble.

Now that the real estate agents and the property developers are running with their tails in between their legs, and the holding companies are going bankrupt, it is time that we emphasize a New economy for our country. One of production. Initiatives like Masdar (into renewable energy), further advances into industries, engineering, these are all productive cycles that will generate an economy which is able to trade not on assets, but on goods. This is the future that the UAE should aspire to.

2009-04-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

Three Weddings mean your funeral

"Lets blow it all for the special day in our lives"

With many Emiratis reeling under the crushing debt of irresponsible wedding loans, some spinster princess in Gulf News decides to post on how great it is that couples are still spending their money on weddings in an unpredictable economic climate.

They then go on to interview this little gem...

"For Rochelle Malaika, head wedding planner at Marriagement"

What I have understood is why these idiots are allowed to hold such stupid positions in the first place. Why these useless jobs have been created also baffles me. Anyway, the Parasite says:

"I have had a crowd of 30 spend Dh100,000 with grand flowers, helicopter rides, limos and another crowd of 150 spend Dh100,000 on hotel, food, simple décor, photos and videos. It also depends on the kinds of vendors they select."

In her experience, Malaika notes, Europeans tend to come with smaller budgets while Asians spend more. Emiratis, however, spend the most as their crowd is anywhere from 600 to 2,000 guests.

I really think the government should not provide any relief to people who are being damaged by these huge wedding loans. They should be allowed to fall into poverty and misery for being such idiots. Perhaps then these people will be made examples of, so that others can see you spend the money that you have on the right things. 600-2,000 mouths to feed is an absolutely wonderful thing. You can blow what could have been your downpayment on your house, or your childrens future on a single day, which will end up in the regional sewage network.

2009-04-02T16:47:00.001-07:00

Why isnt there an Emirati Car yet ?

Heres why:

The Traders. A Hallmark of Arabian Gulf commerce, and a centerpiece in its economy. Since the days of the pearling industry and before even that, this class of merchants has existed in the gulf states.

Al Futtaim, Al Habtoor, Al Masood, etc, these are all basically known as "trading families". These companies are controlling the trade of the cars that people actually want to buy (Japanese cars). They bring these cheap cars into the country, control their distribution with monopoly tactics, and basically do as they please to their prices.

And the Consumer Protection Board does not give a damn. These traders and dealers have (according to a Radio show on 95.8) been conning consumers when they took their cars to them for their regular "maintenance checkups" by not doing any maintenance checkups at all. The customers which paid their hard earned cash to these thieves have complained to the consumer protection board, but of to no action at all. They have been spiking prices and running Amok, doing basically as they please. Because no one in this country wants to stop them.

Meanwhile, the government sees no need to build a car here, why ?

These trading companies can make billions just importing cars, marking them up in price, and selling them to the masses for the prices they desire. And this is especially true for the retailers of Toyota, the German and British Luxury automobiles, and sports cars in general.

So, these traders, instead of allowing a national firm that would support the economy and create jobs to manufacture cars, are apparently doing their best to not contribute and to actually discourage such efforts.

If the Emirati government wanted to, they could order every single taxi in the UAE to be equipped with a car manufactured in the UAE. But why dont they ?

These traders stand in the way of any industrialization planned in the UAE. These are just comission agents, nothing more. They import things, make sure they control the market and then dish out huge markups for their "trouble". These markups can reach up to 200 to 300% (for books for example). And they will make sure that any industrial endeavour in the UAE will fail, because they want to make their easy money, and to wipe out their competition.

It is high time that the government went on the offensive against these buisness groups. It is time to break them down with anti-trust legislation, and protect this countrys economy from further damage sustained to them, signified in the loss of thousands of jobs.

2009-04-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

Logic (Possibly) Prevails

This is the Abu Dhabi Master plan for transport, the phase of which is due to be finished by 2015. Firstly let me say that what we can see here is probably one metro line, and several "batches" of tram lines. Two water taxi lines can also be seen.

Well, for such an ambitious plan to take place by 2015 is a bit ambitious to say the least. To be able to pull off a Metro construction in 6 years, for a city council which has taken 11 years to build Sheikh Zayed Mosque, is still building Sheikh Zayed Bridge (Since 2004/2005), is still throwing around empty promises (link Abu Dhabi Metro to Dubai Metro) is a bit of a longshot.

Its just that the populace of Abu Dhabi has mostly lost faith in the Urban planning council and their ability to do things on time, with the resources available, and up to plan.

Its time to restore that faith. It is nessecary.

2009-03-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

Diplomacy, Russian-style

Now we have Russian agents running around shooting Chechen exiles in Dubai. This is the typical Russian and Soviet oppression of anyone who dares to resist or to speak contary to thier own hyper-nationalistic objectives.

The Russians have killed over 200,000 chechens, and who in the muslim world gave a crap ? No one talks about the chechens, no one supports the Chechens, they have been exterminated and no one gives a flying fuck ! You want to keep talking about Palestine, oh the Palestinians are still there last I checked, it was the Chechens who were completely exterminated and raped down to the last man woman and child.

Why do we do buisness with these people ? We dont need their oil, we dont need their tourist dollars or their dirty gangster money.

I say we find the son-of-a-bitch who did this, we catch him, and then we sentence him to life in the most homosexual prison we can find where he can spend the rest of his years being someones bitch.

2009-02-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

Abu Dhabi 3030

Thats right. I said it. Abu Dhabi's 2030 plan is in fact going to take another century to fully realise. It will be over by 3030, by the time cars are obsolete and people are flying around in remote pods.

Why is it that the Abu Dhabi Works Department and the Civil planning comissions enjoy embarassing Abu Dhabi in front of the rest of the world ? Where is our transportation system ? Where is the Abu Dhabi metro, with a good metro critical to an aspiring developing city.

Where is the Union Rail line that was supposed to connect the UAE and deliver freight and passengers around ? How come other developed countries have efficient high speed rail and we do not ?

In these testing financial times, government spending into infrastructure, education and more efficient government are of the highest importance. We are now on the downcurve. We need to make sure that the government properly spends its money allocated during the boom years to catch the next boom as it takes off. So we are not left out in the cold as we were during the dot com boom of the 1990s, when gulf GPD growth rates were in the 2-3% range.

With the Sheikh zayed mosque taking 12 years and still running to completion, and the Shiekh zayed bridge not even 50% complete and already in construction since 2004, it remains to be seen how the Abu Dhabi municipality plans to take this important project and bury it with beauracracy and useless potential studies.

2008-10-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

The Special Immigration Zones: How to solve the Visa Runner's Problem

Check this article out from the Gulf News.

Since the issue of the visa runner is a very sensitive one, and with the UAE government very precarious about allowing people between visas to stay in the UAE, a special Immigration zone should be formed.

This will basically be a number of fully enclosed secured areas, visa-wise not considered part of the UAE therefore allowing anyone to enter it even if he/she does not have visas. It is basically a free city. They should be situated near airports and with budget accomodation, facilities, an immigration office and a secured train that will go to the regional airport. Once the visa issue is sorted out, the entrant can leave the SIZ (Special Immigration Zone) and proceed to his work.

The benefits behind this are:

Cutting back on the effort needed by applicants to renew the visas, a drive to the SIZ with a few days stay being easier than having to fly to Kish and back.
Allowing them close contacts with anyone that would help them in their visa process. Their companies, their governments, the UAE Government.
Ensuring that funds that would otherwise go into the pockets of Ahmedinjad's corrupt social services programs would go into the UAE economy.
This city being a totally visa-free zone could develop into something of its own.

It is imperative that the government provide an Emirati solution to an Emirati problem. Allowing these people to rot in Kish is not the answer.

2008-10-07T17:50:00.000-07:00

How about a Change ? Traditional Emirati Foods and Recipes

The Abu Dhabi Tourism authority has an excellent article on Emirati cuisine. Link Here.

Magbous-This recipe has been passed down through the generations and is a very popular dish in Abu Dhabi. Meat, chicken or fish is cooked with onions, dried lime and spices such as turmeric, cardamom and nutmeg. When tender, the meat is removed and rice cooked in the remaining stock. The meat is then mixed with the rice, the dish covered and hot coals heaped upon the lid to complete the cooking process. The meat and rice are served on a large dish or tray, garnished with nuts, raisins and fried onions.

Here is a recipe.

Mahshi- This is a special dish served at weddings, the religious feast Eid al Adha and to honour important guests. A whole sheep or goat is cooked slowly with spices for many hours and served on a tray of rice garnished with raisins, almonds and fried onions.

Here is a recipe.

Harees - This is one of the most famous meals in the Arab world and has been cooked for centuries. It is usually served in a deep dish at weddings, during Ramadan and at the religious feasts Eid al Fitr and Eid al Adha. It is also served to new and nursing mothers since it is believed to have restorative properties. Ground wheat and meat are cooked together over a low heat until the texture becomes creamy.

Here is a recipe.

Tharid- Tharid (Arabic: ثريد) is traditional Arabic dish made of pieces of bread in vegetable or meat broth. The dish is notable in that it has been mentioned in a number hadith attributed to the Prophet Mohammed.

Here is a recipe.

Please try one of these recipes sometime soon, to get an idea regarding the nature of Emirati cuisine. It is a cuisine best served and cooked at home by a mother (or father) and taken very leisurely over dinner, which is the main Emirati meal.

2008-10-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ganbare

A concept that we could use in our work life and study is the Japanese concept of Ganbare. It is one which perhaps greatly assisted in the reconstruction of Japan post WW2. This site provides a partial explanation.

Ganbare (gun-ba-day) is a word of encouragement meaning "don't give up," "good luck," and "keep trying" all rolled into one. No mere platitude, ganbare is perhaps the most unique and defining Japanese attitude. It is a belief and a way of life, and there is almost no situation for which ganbare is not a perfectly appropriate response. Tired? Ganbare. Cold? Ganbare. Sick? Ganbare. Ganbare-ing? Ganbare. But in Japan even encouragement comes with obligation, and people are expected to ganbare no matter what.

So the next time you are faced with an issue or a problem. Always Ganbare.

2008-10-07T12:00:00.001-07:00

Emirati Requests Copyright protection

Yet another one of my ideas has been stolen.

DUBAI (Dow Jones)--Arab policy makers in the Persian Gulf are turning to eccentric plans in their quest for an alternative shipping route for about a fifth of the world's oil transported through the Strait of Hormuz.

Dubai, home of the Middle East's largest-container port within the Gulf, is the latest Arab sheikdom to study projects to bypass the Hormuz shipping lane that's vulnerable to Iranian attack.

According to a senior Dubai government official, planners have proposed building a giant canal across the desert that could handle the huge oil tankers and freight ships that currently sail through Hormuz.

This article dated June 29, 2005 states that EXACTLY the same project should be constructed. My ideas about the Trans Emirati Railway, the use of solar power, and just about everything else has been taken.

I demand immediate compensation, or else I shall take my revenge by posting some comments of callers on the radio show.

Be warned. You have 48 hours to pay me 1 million in a currency with my face on it or face complete de-mojoization, wherever you are.

I also want a range rover. With big shiny spinning rims.

2008-10-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

Today's Radio Interview: Comments

Today I along with Ali AlSloom (hey ali !) were interviewed on the Radio station 103.8 Dubai-Eye FM. Many thanks to the staff of Dubai Eye for having us there.

The interview was a product of the debate between local and expats on the October the 5th which was regarding two interesting points of view, local and expat. It was based on this study

The survey found that 60 percent of Emirati Nationals questioned felt a sense of isolation as their cultural identity became increasingly diluted by the influx of large numbers of expatriates, the UAE daily The National reported. This compared with 71 per cent of western expatriates who felt that the biggest threat to Emirati culture and identity was the country's "highly materialistic and consumerist society". Despite these concerns, however, 81 percent of the 628 respondents - Emirati and expatriate - said they "belonged in the UAE" with more than half saying that the country’s safety record was the main attraction, the survey conducted by the market-research company YouGov Siraj found.

.....

High rents, traffic and inflation emerged as the three main gripes with life in the UAE. Traffic was considered the biggest problem in Sharjah, where 56 percent of those surveyed said it reduced the quality of their lives, it added.

Many interesting points of view were raised.

First, I'm going to talk about the notion of expatriates eroding the national identity and the ignorance behind this notion.

When Abu Dhabi first hit oil in the 1950s, it already had many expatriates living in it. These were mainly traders in Dubai, Sharjah and Al Ain. Thus our nation or at the time Emirates had already experienced a large amount of foreigners living in it, and was very comfortable with this. Many Emiratis are of Indian, African, Iranian and other origins. We are in fact mainly a nation of Immigrants. The rest of us are origionally nomads, who roamed from the desert to the sea seasonally in order to trade, fish and graze flocks. These nomads were organized in tribes, which each swore allegiance to a ruler or Sheikh. Many of these nomads were wanderers from other countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Oman and who intermarried or joined other tribes.

So therefore we can say that a majority of Emiratis are in fact immigrants themselves. And the fact that there are little if any people who can be traced to be in the UAE from the Medieval or even Reinassance (in Europe of course) era.

So our national identity has been formed on the open spaces of the desert, the openess of the sea, the freedom of the mountains and the accepting values of Islam. If you went without invitation to a tribe in the 1950s, then you would have been treated with the famous Bedouin hospitality which the rats at so many hotels and tourism venues have completely exploited as their own.

The ideas about threats to national identity started to flow in with the discovery of oil, the influx of foreigners from other countries who preached the ideas of extremist nationalism, and the Racist Arab Nationalism movement spearheaded by the Buffoon 'Thuna2i' (or duo) of Abdel Nassir and Saddam Hussein 'respectively'.

The people lead by the Arab Nationalists descended to the Gulf in droves, infusing left wing ideas and preaching support for parties and organizations that would have liked to see nothing but the complete subjugation of the Gulf peoples in order to fill their coffers with the funds nessecary to build houses for their 8 children, 2 wives and 9 mistresses.

These people who descended on the Gulf had issues with many expatriates from other countries, as their Arab Nationalism had taught them. They therefore encouraged direct resistance and hatred of the non-Arab peoples, and that the Arab States were their friends and most reliable allies in the world. You should work for, even kill for your fellow Arabs in the name of Islam, but when your fellow muslims are starving in Africa, the money destined for them should allow Arafatass to buy a new Mercedes.

And so, the UAE, born pure, was infected by an influx of foreign ideas which had nothing to do with its values. As does the idea that we cannot accept someone who has been here for 25 years, who has done his work honestly, who has not cheated or stolen, we cannot accept him because he endangers our national identity.

What apparently doesnt threaten our local identity is the Local man who is going around Cyclone looking for prostitutes. What doesnt threaten our local identity, is the local guy who wants to go to the nightclub in a Kandoura. What doesnt threaten our local identity is the local parent who doesnt teach his children how to properly speak arabic, instead allowing them to get their lingual skills from TMZ and the FRIENDS TV show. What doesnt threaten our local identity is allowing other Arab countries to dominate our Arabic-Language media, to not encourage the learning of Emirati customs in school and to allow the spread of Extermist perversions of the Islamic faith.

No, what threatens us is the foreigner who comes here looking for work, who promises to leave when he is done and who does not break the rules.

It is our responsibility as Emiratis to maintain our national identity and to work on spreading our culture and customs. To go on the offensive, not be on the defensive and cry about us being swallowed by a big Shark. We have to be a Pirhana. We need to encourage the learning of Arabic in the EMIRATI dialect. We need to educate people on Emirati Customs, and for Allah's sakes, many foreigners have lived in the UAE and NEVER tried Emirati Food ! We need to set up cultural and civil organizations which will encourage the spread of Emirati culture and to reinforce the national identity by being proactive, not reactive.

I salute my co-guest on yesterdays show, Ali AlSloom, who actually took the intiative to set up something really great which is the Embrace Arabia group. Link here.

I encourage the government to give him full support in his buisness, and to allow others like him to thrive and to actually take its own intiative to help support and communicate the Emirati culture, this is the only way by which we will really be able to say that we are doing everything we can do to assist the Emirati National identity.

2008-08-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

Fin-ished

A comatose woman has been lying in a Dubai hospital for 5 years. She has been abandoned by her family, and her government. Apparently if you do not pay your taxes for a few years you are regarded to be an animal. Go finland, shining light of humanity.

2008-07-25T03:44:00.000-07:00

New visa law, same old story

Why is it that whenever the government seeks to add some sort of regulation to any sector does it end up severly damaging it ? I am talking about the new visa laws, which seem to have been the product of a nice evening throwing darts around a board filled with suggestions on what laws to put in place. Here are just a few brilliant examples of what these laws set to achieve:

Restricting the amount of tourists from the 34 highest GDP per capita countries in the world coming into the UAE by imposing a 100 Dirham entrance fee into the UAE. If you are a part of a 5 member family living in Oman in search of a budget vacation in the UAE, you can forget about the budget since 1/4th of your expenses will be visa fees.

Restricting the amount of time these high value tourists have to spend their money in the UAE, from 60 days to 30 days. So we can forget about the high spenders who want to spend several weeks on the beach in Dubai. And also forget about the people who rent apartments or villas, they will take their money to spain or to turkey.

Equally insane, the beauraucratic system of visa runs (exiting and re-entering the UAE to change types of visa or to renew a tourist visa) is still in place and is on steroids. Now the visa run is restricted to your country of origin. So if you are a person from Indonesia here on a tourist visa and you find a job, what youre supposed to do is to hop on a flight from Dubai to Jakarta (8 hours) lounge around in jakarta airport for an hour then fly back for another 8 hours. You pay about 3,000 dirhams for your ticket.

The UAE tourism sector ladies and gentlemen, that is the most recent sacrifice on the altar of restricting the amount of foreigners and 'preserving the national identity'.

2008-05-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Emirati in greener pastures

Im sorry to my loyal readership, I havent blogged in quite a while. I can tell you it was my university, I can tell you it was my personal life, I can tell you it was sheer laziness. But it was a combinination of all of these. I have just not seen the point in blogging for a very long time. Lets face it after all, Blogging seems to be in a recession to the idiocies of facebook. Once more, fun has won over intellectualism or intelligence. So why stick with a declining industry ? Why not pack up with the other hundreds of people who switched to 'online social networking' sites and try to get to be 'the most popular person' there ?

Well, firstly, it is because Facebook is for people with bad networking skills. It is not really a social networking site as it is a social life booster shot to those who are on the verge of slipping into a lifetime of social deprivation. And then the average collection of people who are on facebook are not quite intelligent people, theyre a combination of high school whores, sleazy levanthinian guys, Local ex-Flickr Freaks, and the odd expat or two trying to keep in touch with his 'mates from the pub' so that he can return to rampant alchoholism in the weekend. I cant stand facebook networking and all those little crappy tests they have to identify personality traits. Im more about living my life with a sense of dignity and style.

The readership of the blogosphere has declined enough due to trend sell outs, that I can now have a readership im comfortable with. Watch out Dhahi, Im back and here to rip on you stronger than ever :D.

2008-02-07T08:19:00.000-08:00

Reforming the UAE Premier League

The city of Milan in Italy has a population of 5 million. It is known for its financial sector and its big design firms. One of the other things this city is famous for are the two most powerful football teams in the world. They are Internazionale and AC Milan. These two teams and others like it in the Italian serie A lead to the development of the national team which won the world cup.

So it comes as a suprise when the richest country in the world, the United Arab Emirates, cannot generate a football team that can qualify to the world cup. Except in the case of England and France, a strong football team is brought about by a strong national league. With a strong national Premier league, we will be able to have one of the best teams in asia and the best in the world. I have several ideas on how to go through with this:

Professionalism: Going ahead to make the ENTIRE UAE league a professional one. All players must be full time players. There should also be a 50/50 cap, making sure that 50% of all players in the league are Emiratis in order to develop local talent. We also need our fair share of foreign players to spice up the league.
Commercialism: Make the UAE league a cash cow. List every single football team on the stock market, make people pay to watch the league, and reach for a wider audience with English and Arabic commentary. Sell the teams off to multibillionaire magnates, instead of making them the modern age 'camels' of excessively tribal gulf competitions. Watch them pump millions into them and turn them into highly competitive teams.
Advertising: Make sure to advertise the league nationally and internationally. Heavy advertising on all national networks should take place. Reaching out to the expat population here should have been done ages ago.

The government has already begun implementing these steps. It is high time that our league improves and becomes rightfully the best in asia

2007-12-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

'Negative Reports'

Committee formed to probe negative reports

posted on 12/12/2007

Minister of Social Affairs Maryam Al Roumi has constituted a committee assigned with investigating local media reports claiming that a member of UAE Human Rights Association (HRA) wrote negative reports about the country and disseminated them to foreign organisation. The Committee is headed by the Ministry's Under Secretary Abdullah Rashid Al Suweidi. The Minister asked the Committee to submit a detailed report of its findings no later than December 16th. "The Social Affairs Ministry is keen on helping Non-Government Organisations in achieving their objectives of serving the community. At the same time, it is keen on preserving the social security enjoyed in the UAE, thanks to our wise leadership which seeks to provide justice to citizens and residents alike," Al Roumi said. She added that the UAE leadership would not hesitate to take stringent measures against anyone attempting to tarnish the country's image. "The law forbids NGOs from carrying out any activities other than those defined in their by-laws," said Al Roumi. The Ministry summoned HRA Chairman Abdul Ghafar Hussein for discussion. His answers will be investigated by the committee. Earlier, the Ministry informed the HRA Chairman that the Association's General Assembly was the only authority to decide on the resignation of its board members. It asked the board to call for an extraordinary meeting of the general assembly to decide on the resignation and to elect a new board within one month from the date of notification. (Emirates News Agency, WAM)

A Human rights group is faced with persecution due to dissemination of 'Negative Reports' about the country. It is supposed to lie to people ? To tell them that everything is fine and dandy ? What is so wrong with us Emiratis that we cannot stand any criticism or anyone telling us that something that we are doing is wrong, or anyone 'tarnishing' our image abroad ?

Isnt it better to instead focus on clarifying the government's stand on what is being done to prevent these things, whether his reports are right or wrong, and actually maybe even working on our Human rights record instead of applying these Stalinist principles, thereaby truly tarnishing the image of the country ?

This is really pathetic. Instead of focusing on fixing the problems that are in this country, we are focusing on shutting up the people that talk about them.

The Minister of Social affairs should probably concern herself with the many UAE Nationals whose houses are falling on top of their heads in disrepair, and who dont have enough blankets for their children.

2007-12-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

Qadaffi the Madman: His Role in Sheltering Abu Nidal

Abu Nidal, the Terrorist who was killed off by Saddam Hussein in 2003 (one of the last proper things he did as the ruler of Iraq, partially redeeming his sheltering of him) perpetrated the following attacks against the United Arab Emirates:

Oct 1977, Abu Dhabi, Killed UAE Secretary of State, Foreign Affairs
Aug 1982, Bombay, India Attempted murder of UAE Consul
Sep 1983, Abu Dhabi, Blew up a Gulf Air 737
Aug 1982, Kuwait, Shot and wounded UAE diplomat
Feb 1984, Paris, France Murdered the UAE Ambassador to France

Qadaffi the terrorist kept Abu Nidal in Libya, as his personal guest, until Uncle Sam and Aunt Victoria came knocking, and Abu Nidal scampered off to Iraq to join his fellow criminal Saddam Hussein.

And then Qadaffi the terrorist humiliated himself by bending over forwards and backwards to the American's demands. So did Saddam the Gangster. Only he humiliated himself by ending up begging for his life in a hole.

The only thing that pisses me off is, that these bastards from Abu Nidal got away. We should have gone after them and killed them, and killed their families to teach all of them a lesson. We should never ever ever negotiate with ANYONE over the security of our country.

And if there is ever La Samiha Allah a terrorist attack on the UAE, or any of our men and women serving the country abroad, I hope we kill the terrorists and their families, to make it clear with everyone that they shouldnt fuck with us. Thats the only way you can take care of someone who attacks you, who you havent done anything to at all.

2007-12-08T03:06:00.000-08:00

The UAE's bid for the World Cup, 2010

This is a letter that I am emailing to FIFA, once more in protest against their descision to hold the world cup in South Africa.

Dear Mr. Sepp Blatter,

I am writing this letter to you with regards to the choosing of the location of the FIFA World Cup 2010, South Africa. Allow me to begin by saying that it was a bad descision. I will now state my opinion why this is the case:

Firstly, crime statistics will explain themselves. South Africa has the highest rape per capita rate in the world. It has the second highest murder per capita rate in the world. Crime and Murder have both grown by between 2 and 4%. This is keeping in mind that 32% of all crimes are not even reported to the police. This would place South Africa significantly higher than usual.

Secondly, the competence of the South African government, security forces and military is something that I doubt greatly. The brilliant plan of Thabo Mbeki for the World Cup security is to "Increase the number of police by a few thousand". There is no mention of redeploying and retraining their police force, increasing security in the urban areas, or even a CCTV network to assist policing. Even if you can protect the urban areas, Darryl Kempster, part of the Lord of the Dance company, was murdered in 2004 on the VERY STEPS of his Johannesburg hotel in what is supposedly a very protected area. Not to mention the murder of an Austrian footballer on Nov 29th, which was cleverly tucked under the carpet by a politically correct media.

Thirdly, the current rotation system in place does not allow the selection of the most suitable countries to host the world cup. South Africa was not chosen because it is the best in Africa, but because it was possibly the least worst in Africa among your bidders. It was up against the North African dictatorships, the central african malaria zones, and the more poorer Southern African neighbors.

I dont expect that my letter will be greeted with anymore than a laugh and a basketball shot into the paper waste basket, but I believe that we will see plenty of attacks, rapes and even deaths of tourists as a result of the incompetence and overly-politically correct stance of FIFA, on the Altar of soothing the post-colonial conscience at the expense of innocent bystanders going to support their national team in the world cup.

In the unlikely event that this letter reaches you, and in the more unlikely event that you agree with what Im saying and start looking for another place to hold the World Cup, I would suggest the UAE. It is an oasis of calm, peace and prosperity, and if the cup could be delayed till winter 2010, it will provide the best imaginable weather and atmosphere for a world cup to be staged in safetly.

Sincerely,

Emirati

2007-12-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

Happy national day

Wishing you all a happy national day on occasion of the 36th anniversary of the unification of the UAE. Looking back on everything that has happened, I consider myself lucky to be born in this country and be a part of it.

We have an exciting future together in this country, friends. There is no other place on earth I would rather be to see history in the making.

Happy national day and God bless the UAE

Sincerely,

Emirati

2007-12-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

Tax oppression ala Anglais

The following article references the severity and stupidity of overly-taxed countries.

On top of travel costs, returning Britons [from vacation] face a limit of £145 ($298) in the value of goods imported, after which they must pay 20 per cent tax. Attempted evasion - or ignorance of the limit - is penalised by doubling the tax.

So if im a Briton (Allah forbid), I goto Dubai, I buy something about 1000 dirhams tax-free, the British government ruins everything by making me pay tax or gives me a fine. I have supposedly done something wrong by buying something from a tax haven.

'Proud and industrious' Britain has gone from British oppressor of the world in their countries with taxes to Oppressors of British people in world countries with tax.

2007-11-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

Stupid, Stupid Muslims

A British schoolteacher has been arrested in Sudan accused of insulting Islam's Prophet, after she allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear Muhammad.

This woman came to Sudan to teach children. She probably did it out of a motivation of contributing to those who are less fortunate. What does the Sudanese government do ? Lock her up and threaten to lash her because her students called a teddy bear Mohammed.

Disgusting unwarranted hypersensitivty and an extremely unjust punishment. If we allow things like this to happen, then we muslims ARE indeed stupid.

Link here

2007-11-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

The Energy Industry, Technology Sector and Abu Dhabi

There has been much talk about Abu Dhabi's faliure to diversify itself from oil into other fields. While the UAE only depends on oil for 1/3rd of its GDP, Abu Dhabi depends on it for about 90% of its GDP and export earnings. With oil reaching $100 per barrel, people and buisnesses are learning to be more rational with their oil use. I personally expect a correction in oil prices sometime soon, as nothing but speculation seems to be driving them up. I think we will see a sharper correction than we expect.

But while we are making all of this money, wouldnt it be useful to actually spend it on something that would assist the country in the long term ? While Dubai has diversified into tourism, financial services and regional logistics, Abu Dhabi has the choice to take a different route in order to improve its future outlook.

The first in my opinion should be in dominating the future Energy sector. In this part of the world, we have more sun than we can handle. And with the world unlikely to cool off in the future, Solar power is the only viable, non exaustible long term energy source in the world. Ethanol is driving food prices up, Geothermal is too difficult to extract, Coal is too messy, and all other suggestions either cost too much or generate too few electricity. So in my opinion the only viable future energy source is solar energy. We need to dominate the solar energy sector, by pioneering research, setting up some world class companies and supporting SME's operating in this field.

The second should be in dominating the desalinization sector. The supply of water will be one of the biggest challenges the world will have to face in the future. We have grown from partially dependent, to dependent, and will grow fully dependent on desalinized water in order to fufill our daily water needs. I expect the same will be true of the rest of the world in the future.

The third will be to better adjust our capabilities in the oil sector. We need to train alot of Engineers and Geologists to be able to produce more oil in the future. We need to stop relying on foreign companies who charge extortionist rates for simple pieces of equipment.

In order to accomplish these three goals, we will need to embark on a massive educational and research drive to be able to develop the nessecary technology. Firstly we begin by bringing in highly qualified researchers from all over the world, giving them citizenship, housing and good salaries. These researchers will form the backbone of what should be the largest and most advanced educational system in the world. We choose as many highly qualified teachers as we can get. We then hand-pick extremely talented students from all around the world, put them through school and then university. Then you have them work on site as researchers and instructors. Im talking about an entire self-sufficent educational zone, from kindergarten to university level, that could possibly finance itself in the future through partnerships with the private sector. That would give massive funding for daring, intelligent and qualified researchers to produce more papers and research than the entire arab world put togehter.

If we can create a research, technology and industrial hub in Abu Dhabi, we might be able to find a new role for the city after the end of the oil era.

2007-11-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

The Gulf Procrastination Council and Sir Waleed of Al Saqaf

It is amusing when a journalist which is not well-read at all in military affairs. And seeing as how the Arabs are backward in science, research, engineering and literature, Arab regimes have also been capable of criminalizing discussions about military affairs, to promote further backwardness and ignorance of them. In a forum about military tactics, weaponry, organization and strategy that I ran a few years back, only 2 nationals of an arab country joined (one of them was me).

So it comes as no surprise when an Arabic journalist amateur at all things military tries to lecture people on what the GCC should be doing and how it can coordinate a military strategy.

And ends up writing an extremely terrible piece on geopolitics and military affiars. With the boring and senseless cartoonist drawings of Nino Jose Heredia, Gulf News cartoonist.

2007-10-10T04:02:00.000-07:00

To quote a certain expat: 'In my country at least, we dont have censors telling us what we can and cant watch'.

yes. right.

2007-10-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

Travel Ban

Why is it that the UAE continues its stupid ancient travel ban to Israel, while Mohammed Abbar, of Emaar, can jump over to the Gaza strip via tel aviv, have coffee with Sharon, and shoot the Shit with Simon Peres ?

Have a read of what Arab news has to say on the whole Abbar issue.

I cant see the big deal over his visit. I can see that it is hypocritical that the UAE would allow Mohammed Berber to visit Israel, while I, a regular law abiding citizen, am not allowed to go there at all.

And what about the Israelis ? They let Abbar in. Theres no reason why they wouldnt let in a normal citizen, after the nessecary security checks. This is while we wont let in a tourist with an Israeli stamp on his passsport, let alone an Israeli citizen !

Its just like those backward neandrathals in Washington who dont allow Americans to goto Cuba. So much for the land of the free, eh ?.

Who the hell is anyone telling a person where he can or cant go ?

2007-09-26T05:04:00.000-07:00

One Small step by a man...

Abu Dhabi/Dubai: In a victory for freedom of the press in the UAE, His Highness Shaikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, yesterday issued instructions that journalists in the country will not be jailed for doing their work.

One Giant leap for press freedom !

The UAE now has become the only country in the Arab world where journalists will no longer be imprisoned for their views.

However, further modifications to the Press law, including what constitutes libel, will be needed.

2007-09-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Cursed westerners

From the wise words of the all-knowing General Dhahi Khalfan Tamim

(he was).... commenting on a case involving four daughters who are seeking a court order to evict their mother from the house they inherited following their father's death in Sharjah.

"This is not acceptable - an odd phenomenon in our society. I think those four girls must have studied in Western schools which teaches children erroneous ideas about our culture and life," Lieutenant General Dahi Khalfan Tamim, Dubai Police Chief, told Gulf News yesterday.

"It is unacceptable that children go to court against their parents whatever the reason," he said. Lt Gen Dahi said Emirati society is facing changes and challenges from Western schools and foreign education.

That was another stroke of genius from Dhahi khalfan.

His recently released music CD is now on sale througout the Emirates.

Tracks include:

Foreigner Baby-Killer
Shoot Ajram
No FNC because I love the UAE
Theyre not Arabs- We think
No Russian Burj Blues
Jews in Jumeirah
Rapist Construction Worker
Poetry about Poverty
Foreigner Baby-Killer Remix (Feat 50 Cent AKA Mohammed Al Rumiathy and Rihanna AKA Asma Saleh)

2007-08-10T02:17:00.000-07:00

Cry Racism !

When faced with a difficult situation in life or work, consider your options. If you are hardworking and efficient, work harder or smarter. If you are faced with a problem work around it.

When you are one of these emotional spoiled Emirati pampered princesses (a significant minority of Emirati girls), cry racism or slap the person responsible in the face (only if you are in your own country though).

And if youve heard of the Asma Al Yamahi case, you will know what I am talking about. She got sent a letter by her professor telling her that an attempt to exploit her fathers death to further her pursuit of laziness would not be tolerated.

A full text of this email can be found here.

I am sorry but I cannot find one single example in this letter of how this professor racially singled her out in a way that was deterimental to her perfomance.

This is simply an example of how a lazy bitch of a student is given a new lease of life due to the overtly politically correct western establishment of guilt and her exploiting a system which is meant to serve those who are truly hampered by racism.

What an absolute shame.

2007-07-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

War and Darwinism

I enjoy the study of war.

I know, it is horrible, it is bloody, people die in them and are wounded terribly.

From conventional war we can learn things about life in general. Many veterans of the world wars went on to be sucessful buisnessmen. Many Feudal societies such as those of Germany and Japan went on to be major players in the buisness and engineering world. These countries would later use their technical and management skills to fight two world wars.

War is social darwinism. However, it is not darwinism inside a society, but between societies themselves. It is like a war between society A and B. It is even more so today.

Countries which will produce more superior weapons, drill better and more soldiers into their militaries, manage those soldiers properly will end up defeating their foes in case of a war. Instantly we can see a few social and mainly genetic traits which are deemed as superior.

Intelligence and creativity will produce the superior weapons with which a war is won
Physical strength and psychological endurance allows the men to go through ardous training through long hours in order to hone their skills.
Social fertility, as in the fertility of an entire society will produce a glut of people who will be able to take up the tasks in an economy which will need to provide for a military
Intelligence once more will produce the military and political leadership nessecary for winning a war and which might just make up for any deficiencies in the above mentioned criteria.

This natural selection takes place on many different levels. It is between Mohammed and Ali competing for the best grade in their mathematics class. It is between two footbal teams competing for the championship. It is between two companies competing for a deal or contract and the largest competition as of yet takes place between people of two different groups, nations or creeds.

So, you will always see that the three factors I listed above will come into play when a war is won by a country. There is also the 'tighter belt' effect to be taken into account. Basically war drains resources. It forces societies to be more frugal with their allocation of resources and therefore the individual himself is more likely to be more productive than usual if the circumstance of the war force it upon him.

The thing here is that once the war is over, as you know human beings develop with time, and the skills that an individual learned from the higher productivity translate into greater productvitiy for the society as a whole. Therefore Michael who had to work 10 hours a day as a mechanic instead of 8 due to higher taxes will be far more productive. He will also be less likely to complain about the tax increase which forced his increased productivity due to his primeval survival instinct which judged that if his country loses the war, then he will have alot to lose in the long term. i.e- death, further economic difficulties.

There is another effect to be considered which is the effect of war on infrastructure. Generally and today specifically, war will be very dependent on your ability to move troops and equipment around. This infrastructure can later be utilized post-war to assist in economic development. For example, the extensive network of autobahns and train systems that Germany developed in world war II proved to be a great help to it in its recovery after the war. West-German products could be rapidly moved around europe and resources could be quickly moved into West-Germany.

There is of course the argument that war damages infrastructure through sustained bombing and over-use of the infrastructure involved. However, this once again brings into play the notion of a society capable of defending itself properly. Any society which can defend its infrastructure properly by utilizing the skills of its individuals will have a better chance at winning a war and thereby not terribly damaging its infrastructure.

And finally it goes without saying that in the desperation of world war II, many scientific breakthroughs occured. Amongst them were the jet engine, the missile, atomic power, radar,and was vital in the further development of computers, and radio development.

The shortages experienced in war will also allow a country to find alternatives which could prove to be favourable. A notable example is the development of synthetic rubber by the allies in WW2.

I certainly do not promote war or the suffering that follows with it, but with this entry I hope to dispel the notion that all war does is destroy and that it should be avoided in all costs, even if it results in stagnancy and slavery.

2007-06-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Do you love Jamal Abdelnasser ?

If yes, then view this video from the 6 day war.

2007-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

10 Billion Dollars

How much is 10 billion dollars ?

Enough to finance the university education of 120,000 Emiratis on Scholarships abroad
Enough to build 7360 villas for low income Emirati families
Enough to pay in full the Marriage fund entitlements to 400,000 Emiratis
Enough to buy 100 million 100$ laptops for school education
Enough to build 11,547 kilometers of paved roads in the UAE or abroad
Enough to give every labourer 10,000 Dirhams to help increase their standard of living.

Enough to be wasted in a grandoise scheme, and enough to be seeped up by corrupt arab totalitarian regimes.

Here are some more statistics

The amount stated is 260 dirhams per Arab child.
It is 36,000 dirhams per Bearuacrat and ball-buster policeman
It is around 4 million dirhams for each high level government official

What an absolute and utter waste. You couldnt waste money better if you flushed it down a toilet or burned it in an attempt to warm the southern fucking pole.

2007-05-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

Allah's Embassy

Dear readers,

I myself am a proud muslim. I may not be perfect, but I try to do what I can do to keep in line with my personal and religious beliefs. However I have just learned that apparently, people like me who go around life not hurting others, not drinking or sleeping with other women, are apparently still living our lives in Kufr.

Read on.

"As to the species of sea creature that is permitted, all have agreed that fish, with scales, are Halal. Some have opined that anything, which can only live in water, is Halal while creatures that can live in and out of the water are haram. The latter would include crabs, turtles, frogs, etc. Another opinion is that only fish with scales are Halal and other creatures are not. This group believes that lobster, shrimp, octopus, eels, etc. are not permitted. Another group believes that creatures resembling Halal land animals are Halal while those resembling haram land animals are haram. "
____________________

Many of the great Muslim scholars have clearly stated the prohibition and non-permissibility of chess. Imam Malik RA said that it is worse than the game of nard (backgammon, which is also haram) and more destructive than gambling.
_____________________

Therefore, to shave, or trim one’s beard less than the length of a fist is haram (forbidden) and anyone contradicting this ruling will be committing a major sin and regarded as a fasiq (immoral person).
______________________

links here, here, here

As you can see, many scholars today are mentally deranged psychopaths. These people are just a collection of weaklings that use Islam to suit their own personal agendas. If it was up to me, I would have these people rounded up and forced to go through an engineering program in order to qualify in the giving of fatwas. Lets see how many of them are pious and want to continue when they have to go through a course in Chemical or Electrical engineering.

What exactly is the selection process for these lunatics ? All these people seem to be capable of doing is memorizing and saying 'no'. Until we are free from these peoples holds on our governments, we will never be anything but backwards.

Scientific education is the power which will topple these bastards and bring Islam to a new age where it can develop as a contributing, productive member of the international community, instead of todays version of being a religion practiced by people percieved to be backwards and damaging to the new age of globalization.

2007-05-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

Ucant

The University of Conneticut has bowed to pressure from several Israeli funded self interest groups to reconsidedr plans to open up a university branch in Dubai. This is because the UAE does not accept people with Israeli passports into its territory.

I just loved this analogy:

Asked if Cuban nationals would be allowed easy access into the United States, Fleischmann admitted that it would be hard "but possible", saying the comparison was not fair.

I dont usually think alot about the Palestinian issue.

But this is funny.

You wail and cry about free trade, and how we should not be socialist and communist, and then you hypocritically allow your corportations to practice ethnic selection. Israel and its lobbies have you by your dog collars, to do with you as they please. No one will take America seriously until it stops taking these people seriously and stops trying to punish its allies. The Israelis helped the chinese develop the J-10 jet, the very same jet that might be shooting at US fighters in Taiwan, in the future.

2007-05-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Congrats Sarkozy

An Emirati's thoughts favourite candidate for the French Election, Nicholas Sarkozy, is announced the victor over the lady in red, Segolene whats-her-name-wh0-cares-theyll-forget-about-her-just-like-they-did-about-kerry.

It is time to see if he delivers on the economic promises that he made.

2007-04-16T06:40:00.000-07:00

Great Job Tamim

It is almost 6 when I write this, and the Dubai Wafi Heist perpetrators have been at large for 10 hours.

Perhaps if Lt. General Dhahi Khalfan Tamim just gave more attention to issues like these, rather than go after nancy ajram and co., perhaps the perpetrators would have been caught more quickly.

2007-04-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

The cure for AIDS

How to deal with pesky little arab kids using Guerilla Warfare

AIDS, Arab Infant Destruction Syndrome

Kaya seems to be suffering from this disease, widespread in Abu Dhabi and trashy areas of Dubai such as satwa, this is something I complained about until having actually dealed with it myself.

Firstly, drop all the cliches about the innocence of children. They take advatnage

Many (and not most) arab children living in apartments will come from uncivilized families, whose only introduciton to life was at the hand of a beating rod. You will need to respond to them accordingly.

The first technique: Bring in the police

An advantage of being an adult is taht you do not

A bunch of Somali kids had stuck wood into the keyhole of my old car. Upon questioning several of them, they claimed to be innocent. After this, they keyed my car and I had to repaint my door.

So one day I see them playing football outside. So I take my car, I park it so that when shooting for the goal, the ball hits my car, one of the kids shoots the ball, which hits my windscreen, damaging it slightly.

I then proceed to call the police. The parents had to shelve out about 2,000 Dirhams in repairs to the car, I also claimed that the children had been kicking my car, which the policeman really believed, and got myself some extra repairs for the keyed door, and the wood in the keyhole of the car.

The second technique: Make them pay

A bunch of local kids would drive around in illegal quad bikes near my old house. I would politely ask them to stop, and they would stick their tounges out to me. Every day they would drive around a specific area till 3 am, not allowing anyone in the nighborhood to sleep, so I take a few barbican bottles, break them up, put in some gray paint for camouflage and sprinkle the shards of glass on the road. After a few attempts, a kid comes up, and flattens all 4 tires on his quad bike on the glass. He is now 1,000 Dhs less off.

So make sure to destroy something of value to them.

The third technique: Parents

If they really start to piss you off, only then do you take them to their parents as a last resort. This is usually useless.

I hope that this guide helps you in eradicating the AIDS epidemic, and may all children stop being little brats.

2007-04-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

The Escalation

Irony comes to mind when we talk about the Shadow boxing going on between Britain and Iran.

A former imperial master is reduced to begging for the release of its sailors, I have to give it to the Iranians, they really know how to make someone feel bad in their own special Persian indirect way of doing things. Iran can always screw around with PC Britain and get away with it, they know this, and thats why they are capturing British sailors, and telling Britian to 'behave' like a child.

For me, personally, they bloody deserve it for their political treachery.

What am I talking about ? It is the invasion of the Abu Musa and Al-Tunbs, which the Iranians actually took one day before the British sailing off from the region. Because of the ineptitude and cowardice of the British government, today those very Islands are riddled with Surface to sea missiles, which will undoubtedly be used to attack Allied ships in the region.

You see this is why I am pro-American. Please do not confuse this with being pro-British. The Americans are emotional, they are self righteous, and they currently have an economy that is being taken over by communists. But if America is ever your friend, and youre in trouble, theyll come to help you immediately.

Anyway on to more productive analysis of the current situation. There is a shadow war going on, tit for tat, the Iranians and the Americans are pulling off military operations for political effect.

It goes like this

Iranians support insurgents in Iraq
Americans arrest Iranian diplomats to try to interdict this support
Iran thinks that this arrest is an American way of showing they have no respect for Iran
Iran arrests British Sailors, Humiliates Britian, and Humiliates America as the 'ally that cant back up its little buddy'
Just today, the USAF flies over Iranian airspace, sending the message of 'We can go wherever we want to'

The only problem is, it takes one retard draftee with an itchy trigger finger, or one bottom-of-the-class pilot, to engage an enemy force and kick start a war.

2007-03-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

Persian Tupac

Has anyone seen the movie 300 ?

I hated it. Dont get me wrong, the cinematography is brilliant, and the 3d effects are great. But other than that, it seems to be more like a drunk convention of guys with spears at a football match than anything resembling a movie that should be respected. It is annoyingly loud and needlessly testosterone choked. The Amitah Batchan indian movie scenes between Leonidas and his wife just make you beg for more... more powerful rope to tie around your neck and hang yourself. This movie is a perfect history lesson.. for thickheads who pump 250kg at the gym then go to their crappy jobs as 'visual communications experts'.

It is a mix between Gladiator, Teenage mutant ninja turtles, WWF Wrestling and a chick flick romatic comedy.

The fight between the spartans and the persians that finally takes place is more of a boxing match than anything that could be called a respectable battle.

In one corner, numbering 300, the Spartans are perfectly sculpted and noble white people who fight for democracy and the right to marriage with young boys.

In the other corner, numbering a gazillion, the Persians are all black, they have pet Rhinos Elephants and Dinosaurs. Xeres rolls not on a chariot or a Cadillac Escalade, but a pimped out Macy's/Gaypride Parade stage, which he probably sent to West coast Customs. He is also the test subject for sex changes. We are invading these people in June, so here is a rough idea of what they look like.

Parallels to Braveheart are a bit unfair.

At least in braveheart, Gibson puts on an emotional perfomance, while watching it in the cinema I could hear alot of people actually crying when Gibson gets his head chopped off, you walk out of the cinema, ready to kill some Englishmen (or more ready to do so than one usually is) and fight for a country where you would probably beaten in a Glasgow park for being a 'Paki' look-alike.

What kind of feeling are we left with in 300 ? As the final scene unravels, and our 'hero' is hit by a mortal arrow, youre just like 'Oh thank God, its almost over' as he proceeds to do some walking around and speech giving while being mortally wounded, you hear whispers of 'Come onn... come on... Die....'. When he finally dies, the movie really begins to be entertaining. At that point its over and you can proceed to the lavoratory to throw up your lunch at a disgusting waste of good technical cinematography.

On another note, one of the 300 actually survived. Does this then make this movie 299 ? No, sounds too much like something you would buy at Plug-ins.

Watch 'Letters from Iwo Jima' for a good war movie.

2007-03-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

Lookie here !

It seems that the Fascist laborer-robbing, freedom-infringing pigs at the TRA have their own website.

And whose logo is that in the bottom right corner ? Why that is watani, the UAE's national identification system and very own big brother.

2007-03-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

Top ten reforms for the UAE government to proceed with

Disbanding the telecom regulatory authority, and selling off all stake in Etisalat and Du. Replacing the the TRA with the TIA, the 'Telecom Investigative Authority' that will seek to curb anti-competitive practices, assist lawsuits against the telecom companies and provide the consumer with an outlet to formalize his/her complaints against the telecom companies.
Creating an age based retirement system, with the minimum retirement age raised till 60 for men and 50 for women.
Supporting pension funds through investment corporations such as ADIA.
Allowing ALL types of religious buildings to be built in the UAE, with government suplpied land and an interest free loan. Teaching religious tolerance in schools.
Supporting competition in the retail sector, banning the monopolist agent system for certain types of goods such as cars.
Reforming this joke of an electoral system, with 40% of constituents being elected by the UAE nationals, meaning every single UAE national, and 60% selected by the government.
Giving all UAE nationals born to UAE national mothers the full rights of their counterparts from more homogenous marriages including Khulasat Al Kaid. Opening the door for naturalization of the fathers.
Removing any Shariah law in the civil legislature of the UAE, repealing this idiotic 'punishment for drinking' law, planting intelligence agents to survey all religious authorities, removing all backward interpretations of Islam from the education curriculum. Removing any mention of a person's religion on any official documents, illegalizing the asking of a person's religion on documents.
Cutting the Defence budget and reducing it to 1% of the GDP (preferably the real GDP).
Increasing the Education budget. Absolutely purging the MOE to a skeleton crew of 20 people.

2007-02-22T14:26:00.000-08:00

Im no Scandanavian Liberal

I am pro-enforcing minimum guidelines for what people should wear. I am pro-not allowing couples to kiss on the streets. I am also anti-prostitution.

But sending a guy to jail for a month just because he had pornography on him ? This would be a fair thing if the entire region wasnt loaded with that kind of stuff already, and if no one had those little grainy phone videos of khalijis doing all sorts of crazy things.

The 33-year-old engineer, identified as Y.K., confessed before the Dubai Court of Appeal yesterday to possessing the DVDs as charged by the Public Prosecution. The Dubai Court of First Instance had earlier sentenced him in absentia to one month in jail.

2007-02-17T04:51:00.000-08:00

One Television Bring us

Emirates News, brought to us on One Television, Satan's favourite Television channel, hits us back with its slogan about what it thinks is important news for the Emirates..

Buisness.. Traffic.. Leisure..

2007-02-16T11:01:00.000-08:00

Local Replacement Surgery

Highlight of this article:

In 1985 the Average Emirati woman had around 7.2 Children. In 2004 she had 4.6 Children. By this trend, it will continue to go down for a while. Does this mean the Emirati population will reach a peak of 2 million by 2030 ?

2007-02-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

Chuck Schumer

The Stalinist Economist gets his hands full on a Mike Church video.

I personally like Reagan. He was a propagandist republican, but probably saved his country's economy from collapse. 3rd best American president after Washington and Lincoln.

2007-02-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

South African Song

Hillarious !

2007-02-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

Budget Travel

Okay, no one might want to goto Kuwait for vacation. But it only costs about 290 Dhs if youre interested. Jazeera Airways has named Dubai as its new base, while Air Arabia posts a 222% net profit. More power to the consumer and time for Al Ain to launch a Budget Airline. Emirates Airlines and Qatar Airways managed to make direct-flight airlines going from Europe to Africa/Asia lose alot of money. I can only imagine what happens when budget GCC airlines do the same.

I can imagine one Arab country that might especially benefit alot from deregulation in the Airline sector: Egypt. Cairo International Airport was recently overtaken by Johannesburg International Airport as the busiest Airport in Africa. A privatization of Egypt Air, Cairo Airport and deregulation of the Airline sector would definetly help. Egypt's position means that an airline could build its entire fleet based on the wonderful A320-200, an efficient workhorse of the budget airlines.

Cheaper Airline tickets also leave budget tourists with a greater amount of money to spend, and hopefully incidents like these will be less likely to happen.

2007-02-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

Blood Diamonds

Over at M&J Adventures, one of my favourite blogs, is a review of Blood Diamonds, a recently released movie starring Leornado Dicaprio. Now before going on to the Movie, I as many of our male friends here thought of Dicaprio as a Homo after Titanic came out. For me personally, he began to redeem himself around the time that The Beach (1999) came out. Then with Catch me if you can, Gangs of New York, and the Aviator. While not all of these were Academy Award Material, they at worst were a great Thursday Night DVD. In The Departed he really put on an excellent performance.

And then we have Blood Diamonds. While it is not a very complex movie when coming to plot lines, and clearly establishes Good from Evil early on in the film, Dicaprio manages to pull off what I rate as a mediocre Afrikans accent as the Rhodesian Diamond Smuggler (At one point he uses the insult Keffer, the South African equivalent of the N word).

Dicaprio puts in an excellent performance. The dialogue is very interesting, I enjoyed the script, and the story overall was great for me personally.If we say that the typical actors of each era were Pacino and De Niro in the 70s, Stallone and Shwarzanegger in the 80s and 90s, then the 00's belong to Dicaprio and Damon. I prefered this movie to Last King of Scotland, although Whittakers Chilling portrayal of Idi Amin does certainly deserve an Oscar. This is one of those movies where you can goto the Cinema, Have fun if you want to, Learn something if you want to, and leave the cinema satisfied no matter what you expected.

Making a South African not look like an asshole is a tough piece of work. That is why Dicaprio deserves an Oscar.

Overall, 4.5/5.

2007-02-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

Emirati the Resistance Fighter

Ive recently gotten lots of threatening and degradatory emails from people who do not seem to like my political views on the Arab-Israeli struggle and the war on terror. To them I say **** off. To everyone else who would like an explanation of my views and of what brought them, I will now go into the very rare habit of talking about my personal life with you, the reader.

It was the year 2000. I was still a high school student at the time. The intifada was in full swing and the Israelis and the Palestinians were exchanging gunshots and petrol bombs. I remember being very sad for the Palestinians and saving up money from my allowance each week to help them out. I personally did not buy anything American or Western in an act of solidarity with the Palestinians. I defended the PLO and the Palestinian struggle. I celebrated when the Israelis withdrew from Lebanon as a result of Nasrallah's guerilla campaign.

One day I read up on a young Egyptian boy who had snuck out over the Gaza border to help the Palestinians, had gone to the west bank, and was determined to do the same. So I trained hard. I jogged and worked out, I studied military tactics, I learned the basics of handling weapons while on Summer Vacation in Yemen and saved up money for a ticket to Egypt so that I could sneak into Gaza and attempt to help out the Palestinians.

It was one day in 2001 when there was a bombing of some sort and many palestinians were killed. I had had enough. I called some of my palestinian friends to join me in what I thought was something daring: I was to protest in front of the American Embassy. No one I talked to or tried to encourage would come with me. Everyone told me I was crazy, but I didnt care, I wanted to support the Palestinians even if I got hurt or arrested. Therefore I went alone.

I can still remember it. The US Embassy in Abu Dhabi used to be in the Karamah area before being moved. I remember walking across embassy road, turning right then lifting up a sign right in front of the US Embassy which said "STOP SUPPORTING THE ZIONISTS". I was still pretty young and you can imagine how it feels to have several officers tackling you, pinning you to the ground and arresting you. I did not care however, as I was doing it all for Palestine and the children who were getting killed. I badly bruised myself on the fall and it left a mark on my face. I was later let off with a warning to never return.

The day after that I went to school. And my teacher, a Palestinian, Inquired why I had a bruise on my face. I told him 'I protested in front of the US embassy against zionism'. The teacher then took advantage of this saying "Who do you think you are boy, Rambo? We dont need you", to the delight of the entire class which took the opportunity to laugh.

But I didnt give up on anyone. I remained loyal to my cause. But after observing people, not caring, month after month, of people just going on their lives without caring about what was happening. It dawned on me: No one cares. Everyone says they do because of peer pressure or to look more religious. If they did they would have been supporting them, they would have gone and fought and died.

I've taken more crap for and shed more blood for 'the cause' than the rest of you hypocrites combined. Im proud until this day that I stood up for something I believed in, and although I lost appeal for the cause because of the hypocricy of others, I know that I fight for things I believe in. One thing I will refuse to be is a hypocrite.

So before you judge me, sitting on your couches using your email and praying for the destruction fo America, look at yourselves first. Look at the disgusting things you are and know that while you continue to live in hypocricy, I will always be free of your burdens and self-lies.

2007-01-15T03:31:00.000-08:00

Absolutely Unacceptable

The Arrogance of Dr. Sweidi, a UAE National Doctor, puts a stain on his entire country and compatriot medical staff. This is unacceptable, Sweidi should be fired and his liscence revoked if he is directly reponsible. He should afterward be imprisoned for life in the most homosexual prison in the UAE where he can spend his days doing STD examinations.

2007-01-15T02:53:00.000-08:00

The Nationwide Medical Plan

I am in agreement with the Economist over the importance of forming statewide insurance. Everyone in the UAE, expats and locals alike should be forced to enter a medical insurance program. Basically this will be a percentage tax on your income which will allow you to choose an insurance policy at one of several insurance firms. It will be paid directly from the employer to the insurance companies and deducted from the salary of the individual. An insurance fund can also be raised by privatizing and selling off government clinics and hospitals. This can be used to deal with any problems or deficits the insurance companies face. It can also be used to form a 'mercy fund' to send people who need overseas treatment abroad. Companies will be held responsible if their employees are found without insurance. No one should be allowed to enter the UAE at all if they do not have insurance, which should be made available at all ports and airports in the UAE 24 hours a day. The Medical Insurance for visiting visa tourists and entrants into the UAE will be added to the cost of the visa.

2007-01-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

Free Hamda Al Thani

I join Amnesty International's call to ask the Royal Family of Qatar to free their family member Hamda Al Thani.

“I ask you to help end my suffering and to help me return to my husband, whom I chose entirely of my own accord, this being the most fundamental of my God-given rights, as enshrined in international human rights conventions. Moreover, I am almost 30 years old and a university graduate, which is to say that I am a rational, educated adult who is aware of the decisions she makes.”

Quoted from Hamda’s telephone message to Amnesty International

Her crime was that she married without the blessing of her parents to a 41 year old Egyptian Divorcee. Now even I would not recommend such a thing. However, The reason for this can be explained as follows

Hamda's particular misfortune, it seems, is that her parents cleave to a more extreme traditionalism than even their own clan. The boys were given their freedom; the girls were hardly ever allowed out. As they became older, their parents took pride in turning suitors away, Hamda's mother apparently boasting about how many men weren't good enough for her daughters. Only one other sister rebelled. She was disowned until she divorced her husband, regardless of the fact that she has children.

When they decided to marry, Hamda knew what her father's reaction would be, but Sayed insisted that he would ask her father for her hand. But he never got as far as even a meeting: he was simply sent word that the elder Al-Thani had no marriageable daughters.

This girl was left out to live a life alone, and highlights the biggest problem in Gulf society and the 'phenomena' of spinsterhood. The people to blame are not the young boys who choose not to marry or otherwise, but in fact the people to blame here were the parents themselves. Now marriage is like any other market, over-regulating it will discourage 'trade' or 'consumption'. In the societies of the Gulf, men outnumber women just like any society. There was no lack of men willing to marry Hamda.

However through their stupidity, many families in the area have subjected themselves to embarassing scandals. This stupidity allowed the American Media to parade Meriam Khalifa, a Bahraini Princess, around on Oprah and NBC. This also meant that Jean Sasson, the lying opportunistic fairy tale maker, was given more material to write her fictional books with (Her books are an assembly of old wives tales and women majles talk all passed around and put into a central character, an ingenious lie to make money).

Unless there is a change in this mentality and a recognition that Islam gives women the right to marry whoever they want to, I fear there will be many more Hamda Al Thanis.

2007-01-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

Why ?

Why do things like these happen ?

2006-12-29T12:10:00.000-08:00

So what are you doing when you graduate ?

Mohammed: "Well, the first thing im going to do is get married"
Ali:"Oh you should have a wonderful wedding and all, dont spare any expense"
(Emirati mutters 'fag princess wannabe' under his breath)
Mohammed: "Well, i dont think I want to, im going to be cheap about it, nothing too snazzy, but you know, Emirati girls are too demanding, I think i will get myself a wife from Yemen"
Ali:"From yemen? Why would you want to do that ? You should marry an Emirati girl"
Mohammed:"Well okay as long as theyre not very demanding, im not paying more than 20,000 Dhs for my wedding"
Ali:"Where would you marry from if you married an Emirati, family or family friends?"
Mohammed:"Probably my cousin"
Emirati:"Yakhi your kids could have six toes and frog feet"
Mohammed:"That is the will of Allah"
Emirati:"As much as the will of Allah as standing in a highway increases the chances of you being hit."
Ali:"Emirati, are you crazy? if we dont marry our cousins then they will become spinsters"
Emirati:"Well maybe you should allow them to marry outside of the family/race"
Ali:"That is preposterous. Would you ever let a Ch**k or a Ni***r marry your daughter?"
Emirati: "Well yes, if he was a good man, a good muslim, made her happy, and had a stable career, why would I object?"
Ali:"Well the first thing that your daughter is going to tell her Ni***r husband when they get married and end up arguing is 'Goto hell you Ni***r'"
Emirati:"Youre not my daughter"

2006-12-29T11:53:00.000-08:00

2006-12-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

The thin yellow line

There is much to be said about Europe's refusal to allow citizens from the UAE to enter their country without a visa. Links to stories are here.

Let us review the list of countries which do not need a visa to enter the Schengen states:

Andorra, Argentina, Bolivia, Brunei, Bulgaria, Canada, Costa Rica, Croatia, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Israel, Japan, South Korea, Liechenstein, Malaysia, Mexico, Monaco, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Panama, Paraguay, Romania, San Marino, Singapore, Switzerland, United States, Uruguay, Vatican, Venezuela

As you can see, many of these countries are not really the bright stars of the world. Many of these countries have crime rates 7 or 8 times more than the UAE Does. More drug dealers come from some of these countries, you are more likely to get shot in them, and in half of these countries you are more likely to be pretty poor. The UAE is an safe, stable, peaceful country. Unfortunately Europe deems that we are not 'worthy' of unchecked entry.

So what should the UAE do about it ?

First of all we need to be smart about the situation. A visa is like a fence. We put this fence up because we want to guard several things, including:

Wealth
Political Power
Jobs

One of the most important things to the UAE is the tourism trade. Tourism is an easy dollar. You dont need to send the children off to the factory or fight on your stomach in an Iraqi village for this kind of money. If we take into consideration the net number of tourists who come to the UAE- tourists from and living in the UAE going to Europe, we will find that the former number is far greater and our 'net export' of tourism with Europe is actually positive. One of the reasons behind this is the unrestricted visa rule that the UAE government has put into place.

In the meantime, the restrictions placed by Europe only serve to damage it. Emirati tourists on average are quite well off, spending thousands on travel per year. Of course the people that will be travelling to Europe will be spending far much more money than that. And if that isnt a good thing, then what is ? So what is Europes logic behind not giving UAE nationals full visa clearance. What is the one thing that makes Malaysia more favourable than the UAE? Since the country has done nothing wrong on an international level, this must be motivated by what has been seen on an individual level. What has a UAE national done that a Malaysian has not ? What makes UAE nationals more of a priority when giving visa checks and security background checks ?

Could Marwan Al-Shehhi have anything to do with it ?

But let us suppose for a moment that Europe had ignored or forgotten about this incident. So it gives all UAE nationals the full right to travel to all of Europe. But as a result, Saudi Arabia, a fellow GCC member, asks for an EU-GCC moratorium on free travel.

Satam al-Suqami, Waleed al-Shehri, Wail al-Shehri, Abdulaziz al-Omari, Fayez Banihammad, Mohand al-Shehri, Hamza al-Ghamdi, Ahmed al-Ghamdi

Terrorism has ruined the right of the UAE and Saudi Arabia to ask for anything better and for their citizens to enjoy a diginified mutually profitable entry. It is insulting to not be allowed in a land with shitty roads, government financial oppression (taxation), crime and a decaying culture.

2006-12-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

عيشي بلادي

بغينا نقولكم مبروك عليكم العيد ال 35 للاتحاد اخواني واخواتي من الامارات ومن خارجها. نحن اليوم في عصر جديد نتمنى أن يحمي الله دولتنا الغالية من العدوان والحرب والارهاب وان يمنح الشعب الاماراتي السلام والسعادة ومن يكرهنا الغيرة وعدم القدرة. عاشت الامارات حرة عاش شيوخنا المقردين والمهتمين بشعوبهم و الله يرحم بوخليفة ربي يدخله الجنة ان شاء الله . -الاماراتي

2006-11-22T07:16:00.000-08:00

Oh for God's sakes

Abu Dhabi: "Here in the UAE we do honour Americans, and I believe that they are highly respected in our country. However, we do not respect your son, and we do not respect what you are doing all over the world."

That was the comment addressed to George Bush Sr by Nevine Al Rumeisi, a student at the Higher Colleges of Technology (HCT) during his presentation at the World Leadership Summit yesterday.

These remarks provoked even stronger applause and were followed by yet another remark from an HCT male student who objected to the US policy of going to war against the world for the collapse of two buildings in New York, while ignoring the tens of buildings collapsing in Palestine.

What a farce. You people do not appreciate great men in your presence. If it wasnt for Bush Sr. you would be the serfs of Saddam and his schoolgirl rapist spawn. If it wasnt for Bush, that psycho Saddam would still be ruling Iraq and murdering people in the hundreds of thousands.

You Intifada cheering hypocrites. America is the UAE's best and most reliable ally. America is why you can study in University and be free to say these things. America is the most moral and just empire in the history of mankind. It could murder all 25 million Iraqis and the case would be closed. It could take on the entire world, subjugate it, enslave it and have it work for it.

Palestine never did anything for the UAE. Egypt never did anything for the UAE. Hosni mubarak and the PLO would not shed a tear or give a damn about this country if it met it's doom. The Americans helped us in 1986, they will help us in the future, and no stupid ports debate or anything similar will deter my belief in America as an ally.

The media in this country is operated by Naiive Arab-Nationalist Marxists, who write articles like these and can only tough guy talk about helping Palestine and sticking it to America. The fact remains that you are reaping the fruits of America while crying out about the poor Palestinians and Iraqis. If you gave a damn you would be out there with an AK-47. At least when the Americans give a damn, they go fight in Iraq. You are far worse than what you can call the Americans, you are hypocrites.

Have some respect to a man that you owe so much to. But then again youre simply a bunch of HCT baboons studying at a high school disguised as a college.

2006-11-18T11:34:00.000-08:00

Holy city for Sale

Have a look at the Guardians' article here.

The fatfuck Al- Sauds and their Wahhabist Terrorist scum allies have desecrated many a historical site in Mecca under the guise of 'fighting idolatry'. This is of course simply a redevelopment strategy. They have destroyed countless houses in Mecca and replaced them with concrete monoliths, rigging the hajj to make them as much money as their pockets can hold. This has gone on long enough.

But then again you may say that there is nothing wrong with this. Maybe youre a muslim that finds a more noble cause in chucking Danish butter from the Windows or burning Israeli flags you make in your backyard. You could even be living in so-called 'Saudi' Arabia and you may even call yourself a 'Saudi' you really have no dignity whatsoever. Being a Saudi means you are a bitch of your Al- Saud family pimp masters.

The same pimps that steal rob and desecrate everything in their quest for greed. Which is exactly why these spoiled brats and whatever love child council they have on sucession cannot be trusted. I call for Mecca to be formed as an independent state outside of the Al-Saud's theiving clutches and at least be able to protect whatever small amount of history it has left.

"Quod non fecerunt Israeli, fecerunt Al-Saud"

2006-10-21T02:32:00.000-07:00

The Expat Horde

There is an Interesting article from the New York Times here about how Locals generally feel about the changes in their countries and specifically in Dubai.

People (Locals mostly) generally feel that their culture is going to be over-run by the mass amount of (generally White/Western) expatriates living in Dubai and their visions of how multicultralism and this country should be like.

I would tell such locals that I am saddened to hear of people such as them. That they are a shame on their Emirate. These are the people that are abandoning their old neighborhoods some of which were inhabited by their ancestors, in order to avoid mixing with expatraites who they fear will influence them negatively.

My question to these people is; Why do you pursue Isolation ? Is our culture so weak as to be over-run by another culture born from the Ghettos and the Council Estates ?.

No, our culture is not weak, you are the weak ones. If you believed in what you are enough and you maintain your traditions and your faith in your culture as an eternal one, then you need not fear anything.

Why cant it all be the other way around ? Why cant we impose our culture on these people instead, and make them learn Arabic, make them eat our food and wear our clothes instead of just surrendering your neighborhoods to Mr. Burberry Cap ?

We should not have to be in the culturally defensive mode. This is the country of the Emirati people, this is the land of the Emirati people (despite what some people in the Government might say), these people are working out of the Natural and Strategic resources of the Emirati people. We should be on the cultural offensive. We should let the Ministry of Information force all School children to take Arabic. We should offer free courses in National arts, Arabic, cooking and history. We should encourage the speech of Arabic by making it more beneficial to do so.

We need not concern ourselves with the eradication of our culture, we should concern ourselves with its growth and our capability to teach and absorb other cultures and people. That is how a culture becomes a great one.

I personally have some western friends and coworkers, and I do not drink, I do not go around hassling girls on the street, I do not sing the praises of Jesus or Darwin. I can talk my language, and I can do everything the average Emirati does despite a lot of years outside of the UAE.

And if I ever marry a non-national, I have nothing to fear. My children will be Emirati 3 times before they are anything else.

It is time that every Emirati take it upon himself to do one thing that will help expatriates understand his/her culture better. The only way for us and for our people is forward into the unknown, armed with the confidence in our sucess and the belief that our culture will embrace others and cannot be destroyed.

2006-10-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

So, what day where you born on son ?

MENL (Middle East Newsline) Reports:

ABU DHABI [MENL] -- The United Arab Emirates, amid increasing tensions with Iran, has launched an effort to establish a reserve military force.
Officials said the UAE, which contains a U.S. and British combat air presence, would set up a major military reserve unit that would ensure indigenous capabilities. They said the reserves would retain the services of experienced officers and technicians.

"The UAE military will be the most modern in the Gulf Cooperation Council state," an official said. "It must establish a reserve force that would retain the expertise and experience required to maintain such a military."

Currently, Kuwait, another neighbor of Iran, is the only GCC state with a reserve military force. The UAE has the most modern fleet in the region, with the advanced F-16 Block 60 multi-role fighter.

A force reserve means you maintain alot of proficient and experienced NCO's and Officers, especially in the UAE's case. This is good if you conduct enough yearly training excersizes and make sure that your combat troops are of high quality. Kuwait on the other hand, does not do this and its reserve force has been declining in the past few years.

This is both good and bad news. The good news of this is that the UAE will be more capable of defending itself, and the day when we ask the US military to assume the task of collaborator rather than defender is closer. The manpower of the military could be doubled to about 100,000 men and women under arms.

The bad news (for some of you) is that there could be a draft. High numbers of officers need soldiers to lead, and the only way you can squeeze out more soldiers is by instituting a draft. There is already a draft in place, and 5,000 Abu Dhabian teenagers a year are picked from the schools to train up for reserve units. It is time this trend was more widespread. And its likely that a draft will even be instituted for those already graduated from high school.

My only comment on this is that we should take in line with the less sexist armies of the region and incorporate women into our draft if we have one.

2006-10-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

When the Lebanese Come Marching in...

According to Gulf officials, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates have promised to finance the (Lebanese) army’s needs. Officials in Beirut say the shopping list includes helicopters, tanks and missiles, all designed for defensive purposes.

Why on earth do we have to CONSTANTLY pick up the Lebanese bill then be accussed that we are theiving greedy traitorous Khalijis ? I say give the Lebanese our old equipment that we do not want and are going to mothball. Financing them with billions worth of modern arms and equipment, fighter jets, tanks, artillery and armored personell carriers is just going to provide the Israelis with a target. On the other hand some may argue that the arms supply is important to the disbandment of Hezbollah and is a political offensive by Saudi Arabia and the UAE to undermine Hezbollah's power in Lebanon. If you need to produce visible, viable results, take your old planes, helicopters, tanks and whatever other equipment, and make Lebanon our own GCC scrapyard. Do not buy them new equipment.

Oh and helicopters and tanks are not defensive equipment. They are political tools and were Saddams best allies. Again these ******* politicians get their stupid incompetent hands muddled up into what belongs in the hands of qualified competent military personell. Helicopters are great for shuttling around VIP's Saddam bought Mi-8 helicopters in 79 under Soviet military discounts and had them converted into flying bars to shuttle him and his buddies around. Seniorita and his fraternity can chopper themselves anywhere they want now and the Lebanese can feel sophisticated like the Americans, because they'll have white house of the middle east complete with blackhawks parking on the Hariri Porch. The Israelis and even the Incompetent Syrian military would have a field day with any helicopters that dared to fly against them. And Tanks ? Have you forgotten about Tianamen square ? How tanks send a message to your people that the regime is mighty and all powerful, and the tank (or the regime) will squash you like a bug if you do not do as it says and back off ? Why would you like to get a tank ? Are you sick of your little BMW 3 series and getting made fun of by rich fat locals in Maseratis ? Who are you going to take on Mein Fuhrer ?

Now if you stupid politicians want some advice from someone who knows far more about these things than you do (Moi), you could start with a list of things such as:

Any Anti-Tank or Anti-Air rocket launchers you can get your hands on
Any (non motorized) Heavy Machine guns or AA Guns you can get your hands on.
Alot of Engineering, Mineclearing, and Logistical Equipment
Communications and Safety Equipment
Trucks, Humvees, Wheeled Armored Personell Carriers
Spares and various equipment like Uniforms, boots, etc

This is a list for a country that needs to build a defensive military.

2006-10-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

For Shame

Shame on the Descision by the TRA to block all VoIP programs. Shame on Etisalat and the senile people in the government for torturing its expatriate population in order to make an extra buck. Instead of going in tune with what the UAE is about and making our country a leader in VoIP, this stupid silly and insane protectionist organization called Etisalat, and the stupid old majles men that are running it are throwing us further back in time. Instead of Eitshit changing and adapting to the world with a new buisness model, the people in charge who have stock in Etisalat and Du, Intentionally rig the system to make money.

You have no authority to do so, I spit on your TRA and I consider it an Illegal Organization. You have no right, you have no shame.

2006-10-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

Lost 3x01 "Tale of Two cities"

I waited about 6 months for the new series of lost to start up. I have to say that this season premiere was disappointing. It kind of took both aspects out of each last series of lost. There is the 60s music and the realisation of that we are not in a specific place, while there is another view of a major disaster that happened. Too repetitive. The writers of Lost are doing a poor job so far, whether they give a hell about the series enough to be able to pull themselves out of this situation is entirely in their hands.

2006-10-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

On Three American Television Shows..

America's eventual destruction is quickly being represented in the type of. Unfortunately for the Arabs, we seem to be America's plumbing system when it comes to these old shows.

1.Starting Over

This piece of shit show is about a bunch of women 'finding themselves'. Basically, a bunch of lazy bitches who cant get their lives sorted out stay in a house where they have their lives reorganized. Can you imagine how pathetic the people on this show are ? 'Hey, my car battery died, I need to reorganize my priorities'. In some parts of asia, their idea of a rough time may be a few days without food. These whores and woman-degraders have a rough time when someone forgets the salt in their fries.

Here's an idea, why dont I start a show for them ? Starting Over: In the line of fire. We can send these bitches to the Sunni Triangle in Iraq, armed with scented candles and Paulo Cohelo novels. Their job will be to try to teach the Iraqi insurgency how to find themselves. Perhaps the Iraqi insurgency will surrender to the epitome of the American Interpretive Dance major Big-word-user-to-make-everything- in-her-life-seem-important Bitch stereotype. The type of bitch that will get pissed off at anything. 'No you bastard, you did not acknowledge me, and you were talking to her !', 'I dont care if you were ordering food from the drive through ! You dont make me feel special when were ordering food together. When was the last time you ordered something from me in the loudspeaker ?'

Here's another idea, why not send them to the Pashtun Heartland of Southern Afghanistan where they will either be hardworking quiet shadow wives or face the wrath of 9-year-old-boy-loving AK-totting Barefooted warriors ? Or better yet, why not introduce a 23 year old retired Emirati police officer who sits at home and listens to tupac everyday thinking that he is still alive and that 'changes' was released last week ? 'This week on starting over, Hassan's Dokha finishes and heather goes to negotiate with the Iranian guy in the shop for more, while Hassan's lack of Dokha forces him to re-evalutate himself and take money from the starting over girls college fund to pay for his car rentals and kandouras'.

2. The Insider

CNN for hair salon nail filing bitches. The staff at this show must have industrial botox pumped into their faces in order for them to manage to keep straight faces What Angelina Jolie's baby is so relevant to our everyday 9to5 life. I mean what is the point of these shows ? Is it so that we can worship these so called stars who either got to where they are by sleeping around or by mere statistics ? Of course I dont contest that people may not be in the mood for a showing of the Vietnam War Era movie platoon, but you have to look at the reality which is 10 minutes of watching this show will reduce your activity to the comfortable level of that of a two year old.

3. SuperNanny

Walid bin Brahim, you stupid motherfucker. Who are you telling Arabs how to raise their children ? I mean do you honestly think that the shit this overglorified pikey pulls off manages to stay for more than a few days ? Do you think that 'sitting on the naughty step' and taking kids to school in their Pyjamas is going to teach them anything ? Almost all the Arabs reading this post have gotten beaten by their parents when there was something wrong, there was no 'taking a time out' or trying to negotiate with some spoiled brat, there was either a father grinning with his eqal or an older brother to try out the (then new) WWF piledrivers. By showing us this show youre just going to make us Arabs so mad that theyre going to beat their kids in ADVANCE. 'This is for if you ever try to go on one of those stupid American temper tantrums !'.

4. Wifeswap

For no productive reason, couples in America switch. The message is this, 'be thankful for your shitty marriages, because it can get way worse'. How do arabs with several wives go about on this show ? Do they trade wife for wife ? What if one has 2 wives and the other has 4 ? Do they set up a 'Wife Exchange' and pray for a positive return ? Or do they go cry to the government for a bailout once they realise their wife has depreciated through insider trading in the market and is now worth a corolla ?

And so my dear Arabs, do not fear anything. A people who watch shows such as these are uncreative and about as harmful to us as people are to the Sheikh Zayed highway. MBC4 will be the bringer of the Great Arab-American peace. Once we realise that the average American is stupid, we will all start to get along.

2006-10-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

Lebanese Fish

A Compilation of Quotes for the day...

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach him how to make fun of the Lebanese, he will have a lifetime of enjoyment.

Give a Lebanese man a Fish... And have another one ready for when he destroys his refrigerator.

Give a Lebanese man a Fish he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish, and he will teach the indians under him how to feed him forever

Give a Lebanese man one Fish, you are a Greedy Bastard. Give him two fish, and you are a Selfish Bastard. Give him many fish, and you are a Corrupt Whoremongering Khaliji Bastard.

Tell 3 Lebanese men to share a Fish if you want to lose two of them.

Hiring a Lebanese man in your fish stall is as productive as starting an Eskimo-Bedu Outdoor Camping Exchange Program.

Teach all the Lebanese to fish.. And pray that their sea is still polluted with oil slicks.

Teach all the Lebanese to fish.. That will keep them as far away from populated landmasses as possible.

Take a Lebanese man out fishing, then get a harpoon and pierce your eardrums before he starts with the speech about how the Phonecians were and the Lebanese are the best sailors.

All Lebanese now know how to fish. Fish is now a way to make oil . The Lebanese now have alot of money. Armageddon is here.

2006-09-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

Another agreement to demine their country. Another aid handout that will probably be swallowed up by their corrupt government.

Now that the dust has settled, many Khalijis have lost billions in the whole mess in Lebanon. We have given the Lebanese tens of Billions of Dollars. Their flaunted country would have been a pile of bricks had there not been Khalijis to give these people money. And what have we gotten back in return ? Certainly not appreciation, Certainly not our money back. This whole war's responsibility of course, rests on Lebanon's shoulders and their allowance of a seperate military power on their soil.

So when will the Khaliji aid river to Lebanon dry up ? When will we just tell the Lebanese 'Do whatever makes you happy, but were not giving you the money to do it'. I think it would be more entertaining and equally productive to burn money rather than give more of it to them again.

I find it unfair that the Lebanese can go, destroy their country and other people's investments and then expect the GCC to pick up the bill.

Political Stability is the call of the day. No Roman Ruins or Skii Resorts can rival it. Should you be a Gulf Investor uninterested in losing your money every 15 years, take your money and invest it in Dubai. Unless Mr. Nasrallah writes us some checks that is.

2006-09-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

Paraphrase..

"President His Highness Shaikh Khalifa Bin Zayed Al Nahyan yesterday hosted an iftar banquet in honour of His Highness Shaikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, and Their Highnesses the Supreme Council Members and Rulers of three Emirates: Dr. Shaikh Sultan Bin Mohammad Al Qasimi of Sharjah, Shaikh Hamad Bin Mohammad Al Sharqi of Fujairah and Shaikh Humaid Bin Rashid Al Nuaimi of Ajman.

Also present were Shaikh Sultan Bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Deputy Prime Minister, and General Shaikh Mohammad Bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Abu Dhabi Crown Prince and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces. Attending the reception were Shaikh Hamdan Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Dubai Deputy Ruler and Minister of Finance and Industry, the Crown Princes and Deputy Rulers of Sharjah, Ras Al Khaimah, Umm Al Quwain, Fujairah and Ajman, and other shaikhs, ministers and senior officials."

Do you ever get this in news reports in the region ? Where you have to dissect the raw information from each paragraph ? The media of the region must be great help in paraphrasing practice.

'Khalifa had friends and family over for Iftar'

150 words/ 2 Paragraphs summarized in a sentence of 8 words.

2006-09-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

Ramadan Kareem

His Imperial Majesty, King of Kings, bringer of light, slayer of darkness, Emirati, wishes you all a Ramadan Kareem. Please stay safe and take the time to contemplate 'less entertaining' things. Like worship and work. Dont use the opportunity to smoke Shisha and play cards all day long. Although I know some of you will, and I cant say what I mean to say to you because im fasting. Far less swearing.. Interesting..

2006-09-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Yalla ya Nasrallah

An Israeli song about how they had planned to kick the living shit out of Hezbollah.

Seriously I dont like Nasrallah, I dont like the Iranians, but I would love to see the face of the idiot who made this song. Youre probably not laughing now are you, you stay-at-home IDF wannabe motherfucker ? And Allow me to take the privellige of repeating...

Dear IDF; you are a joke of an inflexible force. That song was funny, but now Nasrallah is sitting in Beirut and stroking his beard and laughing at you.

You've gotten the girly-looking-prison-newbie-treatment.

Yalla Yalla Ya IDF.
Show off your big helmets and female conscripts.
Because you just got bitchslapped by a farmer army.

2006-09-22T01:52:00.000-07:00

Emirati the Lostaholic

King of Kings, bringer of light and justice and holder of the Imperial Crown his royal majesty Emirati will admit that he is a Lost-addict.

Something about being in a place where society and government have no control appeals to me. I mean its a great idea right ? After season two things become even more interesting.

Emirati is not a die-hard believer in dictatorship, unless it places him in rule. So what I would have done is immediately form Island contracts with everyone. It will simply state that if they vote for me, I will give them something. Bribing my way into rule, I will now begin a campaign of slowly eradicating the Island's diverse biofauna. All trees which do not bear fruit will be chopped down. Land shall be redeveloped for agricultural uses, and real estate expolitation. Emirati shall start up a company call Emaarati (My Real Estate). I will then construct several houses with driveways for when we eventually get cars. I will indebt the citizens to me by offering them the houses on long term service contracts. Eventually our building of a skyscraper will alert ships and airplanes to our presence. By then you will all be dead, with Emirati to blame it on you.

More seriously, Lost Season 3 will begin on October 4, 2006

2006-09-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

Passports for everyone !

Over at secretdubai, a few bloggers have been proponents of an open-naturalization policy, where the existent 20% of the country would share with the rest of the people. This is a scenario detailing what could happen. Now do not be a retard and take this very seriously, many of the things are implicationary.

October: The UAE begins to Naturalise and give permanent residency to 80% of its expat population. Government announces many benefits unsustainable. Social aid and support programs are cut.
November: UAE sees a large wave of immigration as many of the now UAE nationals/permanent residents repatriate their families from abroad or bring in friends/family members through marriage or other means.
December: UAE population increases to 6 million. UAE government services overwhelmed. Hospitals, Schools and basic infrastructure are under a large amount of strain. Power and water cuts now the norm.
January: Unemployment rises as cheap labour floods the country.
February: The official language of the UAE is changed by pressure, to Urdu, Followed by English, Followed by Pashtu, Followed by Arabic. The National anthem will now be sung in Urdu.
March: The UAE mysteriously gives a very lucrative oil contract to an Indian company. The details of this contract are unknown.
April: Unemployment Increases, Crime rate increases. Coup destabilizes the country and takes control of it.
May: A corrupt central system ruling out of Dubai begins to take hold of the country. Investment drops, Economy suffers.
June: By estimates, the UAE is losing a large chunk of its GDP in lost tourism revenue, corruption and
July: UAE population increases to 11m. Unemployment rate soars to 30%.
August: UAE requests loans and financing from the IMF to help to stabilize the economy and produce jobs.
A few years later: The UAE, in just a few years, has seen its GDP drop by 75%. Oil does not contribute enough to the import dependent economy of this country, whose 25 bn Dollar GDP and 2,200 GDP per capita pose problems for it. Unemployment is 25%. The corrupt Ghupta regime stifles the country's economy by its corruption, inefficiency and its hampering of the private sector. The ongoing decline in the oil industry and a population expected to number 70 million in 2050 will pose problems for the UAE.

2006-09-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the better Pope.

I do not think anyone could find anything bad to say about Pope John Paul II. I am a Muslim. According to my religion, the pope should not exist. But I do have the Utmost respect for this kind man. He was a leader and a teacher in tolerance and respect. Mehmet Agca shot him in 1981, but the pope visited him later to talk about it. I was very saddened by his death and appreciate his role in helping the world..

And then this ape came along..

God, could you lend us back the old pope ?

2006-09-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

Our Saviour is here

"I am not looking to be just a member of the FNC … My ambition is to be the speaker of the FNC. I am planning to establish a new system in the FNC. I am convinced that the FNC at the moment is in need of people who have a new way of thinking. I believe I am the only suitable person who can bring changes and development to the FNC."

..

Im sorry, let me repeat that

"I am not looking to be just a member of the FNC … My ambition is to be the speaker of the FNC."

Im sure that the speaker in the FNC will be Japanese.

"I am planning to establish a new system in the FNC."

Sony and Ja Rule are taking care of that

"I am convinced that the FNC at the moment is in need of people who have a new way of thinking."

Yes this new concept of thinking called 'Police Chiefs who attack Ajram can save the day'

"I believe I am the only suitable person who can bring changes and development to the FNC."

Ladies and gentlemen, declare this man's birthday a holiday !! He is here to save us all from death and destruction !!

The day that Iblockutubeboy gets elected as Speaker, I am moving to Mongolia. SD, Moryarti, Slagothor and Trendsetter, do join me.

Disclaimer: If you love Blocktube boy, are unable to sleep at night whilst thinking of his DPD reforms, then please fuck off. If you want to make a problem of it, fuck off again. If you think that im not being fair, fuck off a third time.

2006-09-15T04:25:00.000-07:00

We Are Imam-Ali

So, with the dust beginning to settle in Lebanon, a new consensus has risen amongst the UAE National Population. People have begun to see Hassan Nasrallah as a hero, Political Shiia Islam as the way, especially amongst our Emiratis who see Iran as a mothership. Be they Iranian of origin or not. I was sitting somewhere to overhear this in an Emirati Arabic Accent...

"I want the UAE to be unified or become part of Iran, better than to be under these f*cking Americans"

We in the UAE may be united in a federation where Abu Dhabi is . If Iran will shell out billions to Abu Dhabi and the rest of the Emirates, allowing them to form their own rules and laws, allowing them total soveregnity if they want to, I would not object as much. But we know what would happen if the UAE was part of Iran. Immediately we would have visa restrictions. The UAE would be an Iranian Job Market. The UAE economy would lose tens if not hundreds of billions of dollars. Persian would be the Main Language. Gradually Economic Control begins to build up and transform itself to political control. And rights are slowly taken away, slowly and gradually. A few years later Buj and I are making fun of Khalijis whilst eating Chelo kabab.

You see, it is the retarted like you who make people like me, who are arguing for the rights of the Emiratis, and a future democracy, look bad. What you would like to see is a big bad Islamic Union, to kick out Israel from the region, liberate Palestine and unite everyone from Muscat to the Mauretania under the 'banner of Islam'.

But you dont mention the little details. The fact that the Average Emirati would lose his standard of living, that he would become a tool of a capital that would be in Tehran. You dont mention what would happen to your education, medicare, social security. Political Islam apparently will pay the Bills and provide you with Infinite supplies of Panadol and Zinax. It will also pay your water and electricity bills and drive your kids to school in a mini van.

But that of course is never the case. Usually Islamic parties have proved that they are faliures. They allow ideology to get into the way of common sense.

In any case, this Sheikh System which is up nowadays, even if you call it a dictatorship, protects us from the evils of the Brotherhood-propagandized horde composed of savages like these, who think that we are some midget state to give up our soverignity to an outside power under the auspices of a political doctrine and the faith in mutually shared religion.

I disagree with many things the Sheikhs of the UAE may do, I shit you not. But these people have done a good job, they have my confidence and support. They protect our people from poverty, Ignorance and self-destruction.

So let us get down to the bottom line here. You can cheerlead Iran and the Hezzies all you want, take out your pom poms and wear a mini skirt for all I care. But as soon as you begin to put Iranian Interests above Emirati ones, you are a bloody traitor. Im very liberal, even on my blog, I have never edited a single comment. The guy who stated the last comment should I run into him again I will tell to shut the fuck up. The next person may not be as lucky.

2006-09-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

I Quote, I Quote

A Byzantine Emperor: "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Great Job with the Quoting, Tard.

2006-09-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

Why I wont be 'Celebrating September 11th'

Warning: You may find the following post offensive. If so, then what the fuck are you doing here ?

Im about sick and tired of all these 9/11 anniversaries. Another wreath, another George Bush and Laura Bush Flower Deployment. So its been 5 years. So the fuck what ? When was the last time you stopped a minute for an Angolan Massacre or a Sudanese Massacre ? You probably dont know where those countries are. You know how many people die in those things ? Tens of thousands. Even millions. Around 3,000 people were killed in 9/11. Do the math. Its hypocritical of me to give more of a hell about Sept. 11 than those conflicts. I am a human being. It is none of my responsibility. I want al Qaeda dead more than America does, believe me its our neck on the line here. It was a cowardly attack which I condemn, but what more do you expect ?. Im not going to join in this, in some hypocritical mourning. I dont have the right to, none of the people were killed were my friends or family. So why should I mourn them and then tuck up into bed at night without a care ?. You know why I wont mourn anyone ? Because I dont believe any life is more precious than the other. That we are all born equal. That in the large scale of events, 3,000 Americans lives and a few buildings were nothing but a scratch in America's Armor Paint and historically insignificant in all ways but politically. And that plenty of people have been butchered systematically over the past 5,000 years in far greater numbers and their deaths have recieved far less media coverage or sensation. Its the 'revenge reflex' of the average human being which makes us remember war and pain, and get mad, and slaughter each other all the harder as a result.

The Media does not believe that. That is why a person who dies in a Philipine Landslide is given an Equal amount of airtime to the guy who traded a paperclip for a house. The Media is all about relevance and optimization to a market audience. These assholes are losing the war in Iraq. They are coming out like military analysts, saying that becuase America loses 2 or 3 soldiers a day, it is therefore the Rout of Montgomery and America will lose Iraq.

What the fuck can I do about it being 365 days more away from the last 9/11 ? So what should I do, remember their memories by dying or what ? Should I just mourn them for one day and then stop ?

No, I wont even think of this day. I suggest that the rest of the world begins to forget about it as well. No life is more precious than the other. I will forget everything.

I am only sorry for those who have to live without their family members and loved ones. Ask them how they feel about this one day charade.

2006-09-08T01:26:00.000-07:00

Remember Mukhtaran ?

I was reading about this woman, where when she was 18 was gang-raped by a number of tribal men in Pakistan in an attempt on revenge. Many thought this was a barbaric interpretation of Islam. But we are probably all surprised the savages that raped her only got what they deserved because..

28 June, 2002: During his weekly Friday sermon, the village imam (prayer leader) declares that a great sin has been committed and asks the villagers to report the matter to the police.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4620065.stm

The six men were later condemned to death. So tell me, why is it in the Muslim United Arab Emirates, people get a 2 year sentence for a similar gang rape ?

2006-09-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

The Haram List

Music is Haram. Chess is Haram. Backgammon is Haram. Singing is Haram. Art is Haram. Putting Gel on your hair is Haram. Investment banking is Haram. Pork based Insulin is Haram. Youtube is Haram. Credit Cards are Haram. Allowing women to drive is Haram. Shrimp is Haram.

Saying someone is an Infidel for suggesting a Ramadan fixation/time Change beneficial to Muslim countries on an individual and group level...Halal.

Blocking Youtube, Flickr and other interesting websites: Halal.

2006-08-31T20:49:00.000-07:00

Okay CrashDummies

Enough is Enough. Even Emirati, the ranting complainer about everything and everyone, the person who suggested there should be a Romanized Arabic Alphabet for Learners will tell you that you are going too far. As if it wasnt disrepectful and ignorant to not attempt to learn the language of the people who own the country you are in, today our friends are on 7days demanding that the Police Put in an English and Urdu service on the Emergency hotline.

Cough up some money, its called a Phrasebook you fucking retards ! If you crash on the German autobahn and all you can speak is Urdu, do you think the German Police is going to begin to Distribute copies of Amita Batchan Movies ?! Do the German Police Talk Turkish although a large number of their immigrants are from Turkey ? IT is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. If you do not attempt to learn some phrases in Arabic YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY IN DANGER.

And its not like telling someone youve been in a Car Crash requires a fucking Ph.D in Middle Eastern Studies and Linguistics ! 'Ive been in a Car Crash, someone is Injured, Please send an Ambulance'. What else do you want to tell them ? Do you want to talk about the neverchanging fucking weather ? Do you want to ask them about career prospects in the Dubai Police ? What more could you tell a dispatcher ?

And if you REALLY want English and Urdu Speakers on the Emergency Line, you know what ? I have an Idea. Youre going to pay for the fact that you cannot speak Arabic. Translators and English Speakers cost Money. Yes, your Emergency calls will be charged at the rate of 25 dhs per call. So when you use our very expensive service, you will owe the police 25 dhs for the call and 25 dhs for the dispatch, if you dont have any money then youre just going to have to use whatever credit you have left to call your family and friends and say Goodbye or miss call an Armenian thug to Sort you out.

For our more enlightened friends, Interested in Learning a small miniscule part of a Beautiful 1800 year old language, which could help them in their Middle Eastern Travels

'Areed Dawreeya' - I want a Squad Car
'Areed Esaaf'- I want an Ambulance
'Areed Sayarat Etfaa'- I want a fire truck
'Ana Majrooh'- I am Injured
'Had Majrooh'-Someone is Injured
'Had Maat'- Someone has been Killed
'Saar Hadeth'-There has been an Accident
'Saar Hareeg'- There is a fire
'Shareh'- Road
'Sahra/Barr'- Desert
'Police'- Shurta
Civil Defence'- Defaa Madani

Print it out, take 10 minutes of your time to memorize it or stick it in your wallet in one, and youll be in a far better position than your more stubborn 'Oi im frum Burminam innit, i dawnt speak yawr fackin pakilanguage' variety of expasshole.

2006-08-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

Cluster Bombs

Reading the New York Times today, I come across this article..

In towns like Yahmour and Nabatiye along the Litani River Valley, where Israeli troops prepared to face off with Hezbollah fighters in the final days of the conflict, thousands of bomblets released by shells fired into the area litter everything from streets to farmland.

One of my main issues with the American Invasion of Iraq, as the Israeli Invasion of Lebanon has got to be the use of cluster bombs. These munitions should be banned by an international watchdog. And the fact that the US willingly hands these weapons to the Israelis, to use like this is absolutely pathetic.

Talk of it being more effective than Artillery is absolute bollocks. Several artillery shells fired at a target can have the same effect as a cluster bomb and not leave around unexploded bomblets "which have a fail rate of 14 to 40 percent". It probably comes down to a matter of price, the Israelis trying to make this war as cost effective as possible. Addittionally, the statement by the Israeli military that they were trying to avoid hitting civilian areas is also laughable. The whole of South Lebanon is civilian, it is filled with little villages and houses and farms. How can you say that you were trying not to fire at civilian areas with a weapon that is designed to spread tactical munitions over a wide area, and will not avoid civilian areas automatically ?

The UAE military in 2000 spearheaded an operation called Lebanon Solidarity, nearly demining the whole of Southern Lebanon until this war started up. That effort has now more or less gone down the gutter. The Israelis have probably mined every square meter that they can and will not give any information regarding the minelaying operations. Once more Israeli recklessness has cost it dearly in terms of its prized International Reputation. Hezbollah is now trying to get the Israelis to hand over maps of their minelaying operations from 1978-2000. Here's hoping that cluster bombs, mines, and eventually war are all banned.

With news that Israel is considering to hand over the Shebaa farms, I will only leave you to ponder the following statement from the telegraph.

But the damage to Israel's image goes way beyond its army's reputation. Israel is routinely criticised for its harsh treatment of Arab enemies, but many observers were still shocked at the choice of targets hit by the Israeli war machine - ambulances, civilian cars, even a dairy farm. And Israel has yet to answer this awkward question: how did the most sophisticated armed force in the Middle East kill many more civilians than combatants, while Hizbollah, regarded by Israel as a terrorist group, kill many more combatants than civilians?

2006-08-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Whereya Flayian Too Mawslim Boy, Afganistan ?!

LONDON: A proposal to replace the current random security checks at British airports with a new system that would include racial profiling has been attacked by ethnic groups, especially Muslims, who say that it would amount to "criminalising'' people simply because of the colour of their skin or appearance.

What a Joke. I have been stopped on numerous occasions since 2000 over my race, being asked detailed and intrusive questions on what I was doing and where I was going, while other people of white descent were given a quick stamp through. Many of my friends who have gone to study in America have been harassed by the incompetent security services in the airports. One of them being told to strip nude and had humiliating checks performed on him.

What you fucking idiots in these stupid so called intelligence agencies cannot understand and get into your heads, is that youre using the wrong strategy and alienating your Muslim minorities who could be helping you to fight these terrorists. That a terrorist might as well be black, white, asian, as well as being brown.

You need to go on the offensive, on all fronts. This includes engaging in enormous amounts of HUMINT. This encludes recruiting hundreds of thousands of informers into a spy network, this includes forming a national campaign to fight terror and broadcasting anti Jihadist propaganda. This includes offering big rewards to those who foil terrorist attacks, and reduced sentences and leniency to those who are turned in by family members, or those who turn themselves in. The security in the airport should be your last line of defence. And even then you should make everyone in the airport an informant, from the woman who works at the bookstore, to the Janitor, absolutely everyone and every single relevant resource available should be mobilized into an anti terror action group. Absolutely lace subways and planes with undercover security staff.

Involve the private sector. Allow or even force companies to produce cheap high quality transparent baggage for passenger use. Form an exchange program where these nice and trendy bags will be replaced with whatever luggage the passengers have on them, in airports, bus stations and. Form an extensive database cooperating with phone companies, these companies must now provide full details of all telecommunications, which will be searched by a highly sophisticated program that will single out those who have been having suspicious phone calls. Work out a system where passengers can opt to give in their luggage before their flight, their luggage travelling on a seperate date.

Most importantly: Think out of the box you uncreative retards.

2006-08-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

Joke of the Day

One of our friends from the official Traitor-naming, Infidel-Identifying Council of the United Arab Emirates/Canda has kindly suggested that I look at her blog.. In one of our posts we see that she has Graced us with a Joke.

Olmert was sitting in his office wondering how to invade Lebanon when his telephone rang."Hallo, Mr. Olmert!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Abul Abed,down at the tea house in Beirut! I am callin` to tell ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, yes you!""Well" Olmert replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?""Right now," said Abul Abed, after a moment calculation "there is myself, my cousin Mustafa, me next-door-neighbor Abou khaled, and the whole team from the tea house. That makes eight!"Olmert paused. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.""Holy jeez," said Abul Abed. "I`ll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Abul Abed called again. "Mr. Olmert, the war is still on!We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Abul Abed?", Olmert asked."Well sir, we have two Mercedes 180, and a truck"'.Olmert sighed. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I`ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Ya lateef", said A Abul Abed, "I`ll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Abul Abed rang again the next day. "Mr. Olmert , the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We modified a helicopter with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four more neighbors have joined us as well!"
Olmert was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Abul Abed that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I`ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!""Lah lah lah lah," said Abul Abed, "I`ll have to call you back."Sure enough, Abul Abed called again the next day. "Mr. Olmert I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off this war."
"I`m sorry to hear that" said Olmert. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Abul Abed, "we`ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat, and come to realize that's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

LEBANESE CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

Quite Funny we would all think. It sounds very familiar, until we discover it is blatant plagarism of another joke.

Saddam Hussein is sitting in his office, wondering what country to invade, when his phone rings.
"Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice says. "This is Paddy in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring war on your country!!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replies, "this indeed is important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes eight!"
Saddam sighs and says, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my word."
"Oh heck," says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks.
"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighs and says, "Paddy, I have 16 thousand tanks, two thousand mine layers, 14 thousand armoured cars, and my army has increased to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Fook me!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've kitted out old Ted's crop-sprayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit, and the bridge team has joined us as well!"
Once more Saddam sighs and says, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10 thousand bombers and 20 thousand MiG 27 attack planes, and my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface to air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to two million."
"Oh bollocks," says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm very sorry to hear that," says Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, we've given it careful consideration and decided there's no way we can cope with two million prisoners!"

Can Irish Confidence be Shaken as well ? How about Lebanese Plagarism ?